Melavision and U

Poetry - The Rock

2009-08-12T04:16:00.004-04:00

You found me
When I was alone
In a dark and gray place
Like a stone
Skipping across the water
only to sink to the bottom
of the dark and murky earth below

Like sunshine piercing through
With childs hands scraping the bottom
You chose me
Out of all the other rocks that beckoned for air

And I shined for you

Made pretty your lonely world
Where love abandoned
Your empty heart
And ugly words broke
Your innocence

Like a trophy you placed me
High on a shelf
To admire my jagged edges and smooth crevices

And I shined for you

You kept me hidden
Safely tucked in to your back pocket
Unwilling to share and embarrassed by
Your admiration for a rock

And I stayed there
Quietly waiting
For you to hold me again

And shine for you

You took me out sometimes
And dusted me off
But not too much
Afraid someone might notice me

Put me back on a shelf
But not the high one
So you could take a look at me
Now and then
And remember
When you found me

And still, I shined for you

You went fishing
Not looking for stones
But weaker creatures
That you could consume
And satisfy your hunger
Bringing home shards of their bones
In your belly

And then take me down from the shelf
And coddle me in your hands
Looking at me with guilty eyes
For visiting our water without me

And still, I shined

You chased after fortune
And competed with siblings and
Other former man child hands
To add new trophy's
To the shelf

While dander and mites and
Other living creatures took rest
Upon my unique form

Until I shined no more

And when you brought in your
New trophies
to place upon the shelf
You
Scooted me aside and pushed me
To the edge

Until I fell

You looked at me with tired eyes
And a weary back
From all your days fishing
In the water that once held me

Thought about picking me up
Washing me off
Sharing me with your world

But your right foot kicked me
as you bent forward
And so
You retreated and then
Kicked me more

And my brilliance was hidden

Until a flood came
And new water poured across the floor
And washed away the dirt and debris
That had taken over me

And when you saw me again
You were amazed
At the glitter and new places
That were revealed

The fresh water had cleansed my
jagged edges and smooth places

You thought
I had been destroyed

You forgot
I was a rock

And just when
You reached out to pick me up
Made space for me on your shelf

The man who came
To clean up your mess
Snatched me into the palm
Of His hands
And marveled at my beauty

Too ashamed to let him know
You like stones
You passed me off
As just a piece of your youth

You turned your back
And walked away
Believing I would be thrown
Into the garbage
With the other things
You had neglected
And forgotten about

But, I shined

And He saw me for what I was
My peculiar places
And diverse textures
The dark spots and
Silver speckles
Told Him a story of
Endurance and divinity

And I shined

He rubbed me with his fingers
And polished me up
Gave me a new place to be
To share me with the world
And set my glory free

And I shined

You thought you left
An old worn out stone

Because you forgot
I was a rock

Musings of the Glory Journey

2009-06-10T02:22:00.002-04:00

It's late, or early morning whichever way you want to look at it. Just finished an hour of praise music.

I have had a long day, a difficult day yesterday and what lies ahead when I wake is unknown.

This I do know, God is everything. And I have said this before, if God gives you a word, Write it! I am compelled to share. To provoke thought at my own expense.

I am a great giver of advise but rarely follow my own, so tonight I look within to ask myself why.

We walk around with these huge voids within ourselves, searching and pursuing to fill. And nothing, money, fame, material possession, relationships, children, careers....nothing fills it but the Almighty.

We and I mean me, spend so much time on all those other things, knowing what lay beneath is the unquenchable desire for Christ and the Father. If only I would drink from the well that never will run dry.( More than an hour of praise music)

Instead I play, cyber games with internet puzzles and virtual friends and long lost loves and new romances knowing fully that none of these things will give me what I need. Neglecting the gifts inside of me, running on a wheel like a rat with no place to go. Afraid of my truth...Greatness. Power. Agape Love. Philanthropy. Service.

Because I will have to let go of these other things (even children) and embrace my magesty and it will require much. A circle so small only few dare to enter for fear of burning in the brilliance of the light, powerful yet vulnerable, exclusive yet exposed.

So what to do? Those who might read this may even think me to be crazy, because only few can understand such a calling. A calling that can indeed drive you to insanity when you try to ignore the echo in your ears, your heart, your spirit.

Everyone has their journey in the quest to fill the void, some will fill and know. Living their truth in God. Mighty or meak, satisfied, complete, whole. No holes, no wanderings of the mind, no running on spinning wheels, ONE.

Can I get there?
Will you go with me?

That's melavision. What's yours?

Americas Financial Crisis

2009-03-16T00:19:00.002-04:00

As Americans argue whether or not Obama has done well by us during his first 100 days in office, I say it's time to take a really good look at how we got here.

A recent poll shows that more and more Americans are losing their religion. While Christianity still reigns at 76% with Catholics comprising 57 million in America, those numbers are still down 10% since 1990.

Non-Catholic Christians continue to decline whereas more and more consider themselves Christian but non denominational or practicing no religion at. I am included in that number and I had to ask myself why?

In a nation obsessed with instant messaging, fast food meals, 45 sports channels, microwave dinners and endless unreasonable social calendars, who has time to set aside two to three hours on a Sunday morning for worship?

A country where our options are so diverse that a trip to the grocery store can give one a head ache just trying to select cereal, we have come to see ourselves as totally individual and exclusive.

While we profess our spirituality what we are really saying is, I reserve the right to believe in a God that fits my lifestyle. If we want to keep up with the Jones, and be a part of that exclusive group of "celebrity like" people we will believe in a God that helps us do that.

If we want to love trees and the ocean and the creatures of the earth and lay aside material things, and reject all others who think differently than we do, we will Believe in a Goddess which supports that way of living.

If we want to be a sexual being that loves whomever whenever and however we wish to perform it, we will also choose a God that exemplifies that lifestyle.

If we want to believe in classism and racism and all the other ugly isms we will choose our own misconstrued interpretation of biblical scripture to argue that as well.

We have chosen what we want to believe with what really is. No matter what religious affiliation one has, there are truths and principles that bind them all.

Religion is not just about which God you believe in, but its about which God you serve. It is about community and being held accountable for your actions or lack of action to a group of individuals. It is about public worship and confession of your acknowledgment that you cannot survive this world alone and need a higher being for guidance and support.

We who no longer speak to our neighbors and hustle and to and fro trying to out glam, out sport, outrage one another have no time for a God that has rules and holds us accountable.

In a politically divided nation we have made the word religion and even God a dirty word.

Well you say, writer what does all of this have to do with our struggling economy?

This lack of Godliness in our homes, in our schools and in our communities has spawned in us a new religion of Greed.

This nations insatiable desire for more and more and still more has made us void of our common humanity. Our Gluttony for fine foods and excessive living. Our Sloth to nurture our families with home cooked meals and time for gathering and reflection has left us weak in mind and body. Our Envy of our neighbors things has led us to borrow more than we can pay back. Our Lusts for all things pleasurable has replaced quiet moments to be introspective and robbed us of our ability to connect to one another with true intimacy, in every sense of the word. Our Pride has rendered us shamefully exposed as a nation of pretenders. And finally our Wrath sent us in to a war against a peoples who would dare challenge our Godless way of life and maintain power of our dependence of their richest resource.

A Godless nation is a divided nation. Swarmed by the immigration of those seeking not a better way of life, but a richer, greedier way of life. A life where all the things they coveted from afar are attainable. A place where the ACLU is more concerned with making sure Christians have no rights that they are at risk of losing their own.

A nation falling to its knees.

How unpatriotic writer, you say? Can anyone say Rome?

This is nothing new, from early testament we as people have been warned,

Malachi 3

6For I am the LORD, I
change not;

7Even from the days of
your fathers ye are gone away from mine ordinances, and have not kept them.
Return unto me, and I will return unto you, saith the LORD of hosts. But ye
said, Wherein shall we return?

8Will a man rob God? Yet
ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and
offerings.

9Ye are cursed with a
curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation.

You see our religious practices, fellowship with other worshipers binds our common humanity and helps us hold ourselves accountable and accountable for, and to, one another.

While many of our churches would like us to believe that tithing is merely 10% of ones income, tithing is actually giving the best part of your whole self worth. I do not wish to argue scripture or theologians, but I would dare say according to historical data including scripture, your money, your time, your talents, your compassion; the best you have to give to another in honor of an Almighty God is what is required from us all.

Right now we are operating under the fear our greed has left us with. However, I believe once we return to practicing and participating in our religions and placing God and others first, the financial crisis will be healed. For He has not given us the spirit of fear, but He has given us the spirit of love, the spirit of power, and of sound mind.

Let us be one minded for a rebirth of our nation and watch and see!

Malachi 3

12And all nations shall
call you blessed: for ye shall be a delightsome land, saith the LORD of hosts.

I pledge to find a church to publicly confess my hope and my salvation, to worship and to hold myself accountable for my sake and your sake and the sake of this great nation.

That's Melavision

What's Yours

The Lost Boys of America

2009-02-28T23:39:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I lost a young son. He was not my biological son, he was not my step son or adopted son, he was America's son.
His name was Tommy Brandon Mcguire. He was 21 years old. He has sat at my table and ate my food. He has taken a nap on my sofa and laughed with friends on my front porch. He has wrestled with my son and shot hoops on courts while I watched. He has teased my daughter and hugged my grand daughter.
And he was a thug. A menace. A criminal.
He has been institutionalized and victimized and demonized until he became everything that we hate, that we jump up out of our sleep at night in fear of when we hear a shudder banging in the wind or a loose screen door slam with the breeze.
He was that boy you pass by at the mall on the street in the convenience store and pull your purse a little tighter or look over your shoulder to watch him walk away.
He was father less and had a mother less than equipped to raise a half breed son in the south where white people still call black folks niggers openly and white women with black children nigger lovers.
His family was the streets and he learned that love does not pay bills or buy clothes or all of the material possessions that were shoved in his face in television commercials and music videos and block buster movies.
He felt alone and abused and neglected and un cared about and grew angry and bitter until he thought there was no hope for a future for a man child like him.
He sought comfort in the arms of hoochie girls and wanna be vidoe ho's and families who gave him just a little of their time and a smile and a hug and a word of encouragement but not enough conversation to penetrate his troubled mind. Families like mine who thought we were doing good feeding him a slab of ribs at a barbeque, telling him that a God he could not see or hear or feel loves him. Singing songs of a better way but not showing him how to get there.
And now he is gone. Lost in a spray of gun fire. The victim of his victim.
Another black, latino, asian gang banger, trap boy, burglerer, petty thief, felon thug. Son, brother, nephew, cousin, friend, father.
Bout to make a change, filled out his application for trade school and learned to love by the smile of his baby girl saying daddy.
Menace.
Lost American Boy.
Tommy Brandon McGuire October 8, 1988 - February 27, 2009

2009 Grammy's

2009-02-09T12:35:00.002-05:00

Happy Monday readers!

Wow,if you are like me and spent way too much time watching the Grammy pre-show red carpet and the awards show, you might be just a little bit sleepy today.

I'll leave the fashion comments to the other sites, because though I like to dish it out with my daughters on how everyone looked I don't like publicly commenting on the aesthetics of other people. I am a work in progress and I have left that nasty kind of behavior for my former self.

Speaking of which my favorite performance last night was T.I. and J.T., that's Justin Timberlake to the uninformed. Can I just say that I fell in love with T.I. all over again! I remember when my daughter Dee became a fan when he was still underground and she has been swooning over him ever since. Not a huge rap fan myself, I just didn't get it. Well, we all know he is such a cutie, but besides that his latest offerings from 2008 Paper Trail and I Am Part II, show us a more mature introspective young man. The duo's Dead and Gone performance was exceptional!

And what about Wheezie! Lil Wayne. Such a brilliant artist. Mo matter how you feel about his appearance and his obvious drug use, this guy has alot to say and has a phenomenal mind. It's true. His tribute to New Orleans was awesome and though I officially became a fan last year, I really enjoyed him last night.

Surprises for me, was just how out of the loop I am with the whole music scene now that I am a little older and an empty nester. Kim, my youngest definitely kept me up to date, and Dee who loves all genres of music used to keep me open to artists I might not normally listen to.

Among my must get CD list now is, ColdPlay, Duffy...yeah I said it, Adele and country crooners Sugarland!

So while the annual show will never replace my girls blasting their music around the house or dragging me over to the computer to look at the lastest video, I am glad that I turned on and tuned in.

Low notes for me were the pre-show with Ryan Seacrest who seemed determined to make certain artists feel uncomfortable with questions better left for a Barbara Walters special. Also M.I.A. While I would like to give her kudos for performing on her due date, it really was unattractive and oh so unlady like to watch her girating and thrusting her pelvic at the public.

My Whitney....lawd....I'm still praying for my girl. She looked good, but seemed whacked out. Having personally spent a little time with her, I know that she is endearing and lively and intelligent. So I am hoping she is just terribly uncomfortable speaking to her peers. Especially after such a public battle with addiction.

And finally, I was pulling for Jennifer Hudson last night and thought she handled her return to the music world with grace. A moving performance and touching acknowledgement of her lost family.

That's melavision. What's yours?

2008-11-28T10:54:00.000-05:00

Hope We Can Believe In

As I reflect on yesterday, the wonderful Thanksgiving meal shared with family and friends, I think about our recent historical election of our first black president.

For those of you who care to read my blogs, you know what a supporter of Barack Obama I am. You have probably received countless emails from me over the campaign urging your participation in not only voting but becoming active in your community to motivate others.

I haven't taken the time to sit down and write about what this has meant to me, and what it means for all of us.

As many Americans did, I chose to vote early. The lines in Georgia were extremely long. Everyone was energized to get out to choose their candidate. People were polite in the lines, though no one discussed which candidate they were voting for or any of the political issues.

About half way through my 3 1/2 hour wait, my feet and back began to ache. I read a book off and on to keep me distracted. Even though I had some doubt that my state would win for Barack, I couldn't give up. During that three hour period many thoughts traveled through my mind. One of my first thoughts was about my role as facilitator for discussions on race while working at Emory University.

While leading those talks, I was amazed at the antipathy many of my counterparts shared regarding the struggles of black people in America. It awed me that there were students from Asia that didn't believe that slavery in the U.S. actually existed! I recalled being disappointed in the anger I heard from some of the white men. Their indignation palpable in the room. I felt disheartened by some of the elder southern white people that were bitter about carrying the burden of their ancestors past.

I'd come on board the project full of naivity and vigor, certain I would be able to effect the lives of those who participated. I left my post feeling cynical and hopeless about the prospect of change. I am ashamed to admit that I also left with a new distaste for white people in general. Wishing I could erase their blood from my own DNA. Something I had never felt before, and am happy to say now that I have recovered from.

While admiring the great pine trees of Georgia, my mind wandered to the movie Rosewood about a small town in Florida whose predominately black community was devasted by hatred and murder in 1923, Emmit Till brutaly beaten to death in 1955, the four little girls in the church bombing in Birmingham, Alabama in 1963 at the height of the Civil Rights Movement.

I thought about our dear Martin Luther King Jr. his tenacious courage, his wife Coretta and her stoic support. I visited reels of tape in my mind showing black men and women hosed down in the streets, stomped on, billy clubbed, spat upon. I reflected on John Lewis and Andy young living here in my city still standing up for all of us.

I thought about an exhibit I saw and a panel discussion I sat in on a few years ago called "Without Sanctuary". It was a photo and propaganda display of the lynching of black people in America. One of the persons photoed, shares the same name as my grandmother, Helen Nelson. That exhibit was something I will never ever forget. You could feel their spirits, smell their flesh...it was unbelievable. I wrote in a book that was there for personal reflections which is now part of the King Library. I hope someday in the not too distant future, a student will read my musings and imagine what a terrible place America used to be.

As my toes begged for relief my mind drifted to the middle passage where men and women jumped overboard slave ships choosing certain death over a ravaged life. I heard the moans and groans of those who endured the heat and the stench in the belly of the ships when the first African spirituals were passed along without words. And I said to myself, "It has come full circle. An African man will be president."

On November 4th I wasn't with my fellow supporters, did not get to revel in the joy and excitement of the crowds. Though my wireless phone lit up with text messages and phone calls, I was not among the celebration.

I was sitting in the family room of my fathers home in the very important electoral state of Pennsylvania. He was recovering from a recent illness. He sat in disbelief. There was no smile on his face. He was annoyed with the bells and whistles of my phone. He had only hours before, warned me that my exhuberance would be met with disappointment. And I was a little ticked off. I wanted my moment in history with the rest of the world.

But the next day, after the news had sunk in. After dad had seen that no secret society of white men was going to steal this from us. He did smile. And he said to me, "We got a black man for president! And I got to see it come true last night with my daughter."

So yeah, I missed out on the fellowship of the believers, but what a moment that was for my dad. What affirmation of the divine revelation I felt back in June when I wrote "A Dream Come True"!

The old fold is dying off. The generations of hatred and division are disappearing. There are a new people in this country who want to move forward. There are a new people in this country that want America to mean something good again. There are a new people in this country who have loudly said no more. Half breeds, pure breeds and your breeds have overwhelmingly declared,It ends with us!

Does that mean racism is over? Hardly. Is this a cure for all of the oppression black people still experience in 2008? Absolutely not. But once again God has shined on the United States of America and the world, and given us hope we can believe in!

That's melavision. What's yours?

2008-10-28T17:14:00.000-04:00

Putting It All In To Perspective

You know there is so much going on in the world today. Literally just this day alone, the world market has bounced back with an 888 climb in the Dow. Whatever that means, I know its good. Christians are being tortured and murdered in India. The war still rages on in Iraq. Crazy Kim Jong II has recovered from his stroke and is still ruling North Korea. There are floods in Yemen, Prince Charles is worried about the climate, while thousands of people are running from rebels in the Congo. Hundreds of thousand of people across the U.S. are waiting in voting lines up to 12 hours long for this historical election, with racial and ideology division brewing hatred and fear.

It all sounds pretty troubling. The economy is at an all time low and if you haven't been downsized, retired early or fired you are probably worried it's just around the corner. Your grocery bills are too high, the price of gas to fuel your car has finally gone down, but the price to heat your home has gone up. You have auto repairs and medical bills and your water heater went out. Your oldest child or your youngest child just got in to some minor trouble with the law, or they got a bad grade in school. The price of day care is eating up your pay check. The lists can go on and on.

And its all about power and money.

As we worry over all of those cares this week, one of our celebrated young women, Jennifer Hudson has lost almost her entire family in a heinous crime. Mother,Darnell Donerson, brother Jason Hudson and 7 year old nephew Julian King, have been violently murdered. Jennifer has realized the start of a budding and brilliant career, is newly engaged to a handsome and successful man, admired by thousands of fans, and yet I'd bet she would give it all back to have those three people alive and well. Three trips, in less than a week to the coroners office to identify the remains of her loved ones. Can you imagine?

When you look at the tragedy happening in this young woman's life and that of her sister Julia Hudson, doesn't it make your problems seem a little small today?

Have you told the people in your life that you love them? Are you with the one you love or wasting years with someone you are entirely incompatible with? Have you kissed your child, your mother or your brother today? Have you taken a niece or a nephew for some special time alone? When is the last time you spoke to your grandparents? Have you hugged your dad lately?

As I pray for Jennifer and Julia I am humbly reminded that we are all mortal. We get so caught up with the cares of our immediate world and the world at large that we forget it is all temporary. Those frightening headlines and bills and career dilemmas seem so monumental. We strive to achieve or to get by, exhaust so much energy in worry or competition. And yet no matter what our level of success or burdens, the only, truly important thing, is family.

That's melavision what's yours?

2008-10-17T12:51:00.000-04:00

Nasty Politics

The race for the White House is getting really nasty. The hatred of racism is rising and fear is rampant. The truth about our history and the prejudice that so many of us have either forgotten or refuse to believe still exists is daring to resurface.

Those of us who are Christian believers, though not right wingers and misguided fundementalist realize that these times have been predestined to happen and for a specific purpose.

I believe one reason is because of the antipathy of our black youth. With the world influence of the hip hop culture, many have grown to believe that racism isn't dangerous, that it does not effect them. This is a wake up call for a whole generation of black people who neither appreciate, understand or care about what our ancestors and people just 40 years ago went through to get us the freedoms and benefits that we experience today.

As I read the newspapers and watch the political shows and browse the internet, there are numerous examples of the very racism that lynched so many of our young black men. The same racism that hosed down civil rights workers, or killed Emmit Till or even Martin Luther King Jr. The same racism that brought heroin to Harlem and malt liquor to all of the inner cities and crack cocaine.

Many black americans are getting angry and are starting to trade tirades and rants of violence and hatred. I say we are bigger than that, better than that. While our youth are suddenly faced with the ugliness of the past, with clear and present danger, let us take this opportunity to train them in the way they should go.

Let us not stoop to the level of those whose ignorance blinds them and fills them with hatred. Let us instead endeavor to take the high road as our leader has. We should not retort insult for insult but rather focus on our unity. It is the unity and hope of a people that will persevere. Please be mindful that our brother is the descendant of both African and Anglo heritage and we should be respectful of that.

The fear of those whose ignorance insites them, is real and powerful, but there is more power and more strength in hope and faith. So let us rather be shining examples of the man who has decided to follow his calling in spite of the danger, the hatred and the fear, to be a beacon of light. A pathway of change for a better America and a better world.

2008-06-04T19:43:00.000-04:00

A DREAM COME TRUE

When I was a little girl, in about the third or fourth grade, an older Italian boy called me a half breed. I quickly yelled "Am not!" And when I went home that afternoon I asked my mother what a half breed was.

It was my first experience with racism. My mother handled me so well that I wasn't even aware that it was a racist remark until years later. Many in the small town I grew up in thought my father was white. I'm pretty sure he does have more European heritage than African(if any), but he and his family are unmistakably black. They might not look like it, but they definitely have felt black their entire lives.

My parents ran the local branch of the NAACP. They were absolutely Pro Black but they were never anti white. There were no ugly stories told in our home about white people and we were not raised to feel less than white people. It never even occurred to us that there was a difference, unless someone else bought it to our attention. I thought I could grow up to be anything.

Still, on the day after history as Barack Obama makes his debut as the proposed Democratic candidate for the President of the United States, I am filled with an overwhelming sense of awe. Last night was a watershed moment for me. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I listened to him speak. I was filled with such pride. I felt the power of being part of a moment in time. A sense of belonging to something supernatural. It was like a holy experience.

I certainly felt that God has his hand on Barack and this nation. That the people of the United States, those who were Black and White, Latino and Asian, Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus all together as one, cheering in the crowd for hope, was bigger than the man himself. That is a holy experience!

I have felt the consciousness of being a black woman since living in the south my adult life. I have both witnessed and experienced blatant racism in the work place, on vacations, in restaurants. I live in a city that is so widely diverse yet socially segregated. I was beginning to become cynical, hard hearted. I was losing the hope my parents gave me as a child.

I participated as a facilitator for discussions on race at Emory University a few years ago. The history and literature I read, the documentaries I viewed opened my eyes to things I was completely naive about. When my term as facilitator was complete I was left with a sense of frustration and sadness. I didn't think my fellow participants who were not black got it. No matter what we shared, how distinct the proof, it was clear to me that many of them left with the same biases and antipathy they arrived with.

And then last night. A bright shining beam of hope called Barack Obama.

The hope that the days of racial division and stereotyping are short lived is an exhilarating notion. This nomination is proof that we are on our way. That the broken backs of our ancestors, the bloodied bodies and terrorized men and women of the civil rights era have not suffered in vain.

Barack is a formidable man. He is charismatic, extremely intelligent, eloquent and honest. Oh and so good looking. But more than that I believe he is chosen.

He is just a few short years older than me, is a "half breed", probably was called names just like I was. He had to overcome huge obstacles. And here he is today. Our man. Our hero. Our brotha! Let us not forget that his wife Michelle is most definitely a true sistah too. All her style and grace, and fire. Her wonderful enigmatic strength clothed in poise and femininity that surely pushed him along the way to reach higher and dig deeper.

In August when he goes to Denver for the Democratic National Convention it will be the anniversary of the March on Washington and the famous Martin Luther King speech "I have a dream..." Political pundits and news commentators have been calling it a coincidence. I think not. I believe it was planted in a dream and divinely ordered for just this place in time.

While the United States has experienced the most agonizing eight years of recent history, just like a laboring woman, it is time for birth. The birth of a new nation. Let it be, O God, let it be.

That's melavision. What's yours?

2008-04-03T03:03:00.000-04:00

2008 Presidential Campaign

Update - Been Away too long

3:00 in the morning and I cannot sleep.
Wrote a poem on my Helium account on depression. Such an ugly thing.
Thinking about how long its been since last posting here and wondering why all of us writers are so dang crazy(smile). It seems the creative mind is also a wandering mind....hard to stay focused on one project before we are excited about another.
I have abandoned so many of my babies....

But, I think I would be remiss, if I did not comment on this wonderful historical moment in time that we are all experiencing here in the good ole' US of A. I can tell you that I honestly don't think I ever contemplated a black man for president...not really. As much as I love my white folks...I know its hard to tell by my writing sometimes, but I do love my white folk (humor people), I never thought our country would embrace a black man in this way. I am overjoyed to see the unity Barack is bringing to our nation. And the hope. Because I have lost a lot of hope over the past few years.

I watched two presidential elections get stolen and for the past eight years I have been convinced that we are owned by a super world mafia and G.W. is the lieutenant. He does what the boss says and if the rest of us don't listen.....and if there is some collateral damage to keep the business running...oh well. But what do I know?

.....Anyway even though I think we have a really scary, crooked government, I am feeling this little burn of hope stirring up in side of me. Just the realization that we have a black man and a woman on the ticket and one of them will definitely be the democratic candidate is something for us all to celebrate!

I love the Clinton's. Bill is just so damn sexy....yeah I said it. He has that x factor that makes you believe he is talking to you. I know he has offended many people on this campaign trail but life was good with the Clinton's and I'd like life to feel good again. He has so much class too....okay, maybe poor judgment sometimes with women, but I haven't met a man yet who hasn't been literally blown away from his good common sense. The tale of two brains. We all know it.

Still, my personal experience with Bill was so impressive, he is a class act to me. He knows how to connect to people, all people and I truly believe that is what made him such an effective president.

Last year when my grandmother was turning 100(and she just turned 101 btw), I sent a request to President Clinton for he and his wife to attend our celebration. I sent one to Barack too. What I got from Bill was a hand signed birthday greeting with the official presidential seal for my grandmother, and a personal phone call from his staff to me, to congratulate our family on this milestone, but graciously decline my invitation. That's a class act to me.

I never did hear back from Obama.

Yet, on election day when I got ready to touch the screen to cast my vote, my finger went straight to Obama! It even surprised me. As a black woman, ( who probably has less African blood in me than Barack) I wanted to vote for the woman but also felt an obligation to vote black. Hey, I am being honest here folks. If you are either of these identifiers I am certain you felt the same dilemma....go on, admit it.

Still when it came down to it, I had to vote with my conscience. I love Ms. Hillary. She is one tough cookie and so intelligent. She had a vision for herself and has stuck to it despite anything that life has thrown her. Do ya'll know how difficult that is? She has the connections and inner understandings of what really goes on at the White house. I think she would be an awesome president...really I do.

But, I also think the same things I love about her, are the same things that might keep her from being able to make the changes we need in America. I think every good old boy aka the federalist in America and every crazy misogynistic leader in foreign territories would fight her tooth and nail.

With all that said I grope with the idea of Barack taking on all of the mess G.W. and his administration have made, and a part of me wonders if he is naive or if I am.

What I mean is, does he really understand how corrupt our government is and still think he will be able to change it? Or am I so naive to think he doesn't know how corrupt our government is and that he doesn't know exactly what he is getting himself in to?

What I do believe, is that our country is more willing to look at Obama's white genes and say, "well he's not really black"...than accept a woman. Especially a smart, tough cookie like Hillary.

So, during the Georgia election I voted for Obama with hope for change. I am still hoping today and hoping sometime in my life, race and gender won't matter.

And that whole not really black thing is so stupid...(trust me, as a light complected black person I have had those words said to me by both black and white people....we are a category all to ourselves in the eyes of others)..... 'cause most of us light bright and nearly white are unmistakably and sometimes radically black!

I know the pundits and political strategist have given us cause to pause with the Rev. Wright drama, but I think even most white people understand that folks have a special relationship with our pastors. We don't agree with or believe in everything they say. We even cringe sometimes or gasp in church at their comments....and we go home and pray for them. We chew the meat and spit out the bones.

Barack is the type of man who would not dare run from an inflammatory pastor, but would rather stay to influence change. He's like the black people who stayed in the south after freedom from slavery, (and before). They could have run to the North and sought out a better way of living, joining in the white groups who believed in humanity if not equality. Yet, they stayed behind. Some even fought for the land they worked on as they endured to change the minds of the people they knew were so very wrong. Many people can't understand that, but many people can and I think in spite of all the coverage the media and the republicans will give to this issue, it will only strengthen those of us who are tired of the division and want a truly united America.

Whichever way it goes, we are all fortunate to be witnesses to this historical moment in time. May you do the right thing and participate in the process.

God Bless!
That's melavision. What's yours?

From:

Harris, Tracey (tracey.harris@twcable.com)

Beautifully written, and well said….thanks for sharing.

2007-11-08T13:54:00.000-05:00

Mega Church Madness

Several years ago I was a proud member of World Changers International Church. Pastor Creflo Dollar was a charismatic, disciplined individual who opened up the bible and taught from it. He didn't spend a lot of time hoopin and hollarin. He just broke the word of God down, sometimes by the syllable, and illustrated how we could use the knowledge in our every day lives. He was a stickler for excellence and I appreciated that about him. If you wished to sing on the choir you had to audition. It was a ministry and expected to deliver excellent sound and inspirational lyrics to prepare the congregation for the presence of the Holy Spirit.

If you had need to use the bath room you were asked to quietly raise your hand and wait for an usher to escort you out. Chewing gum was prohibited in the sanctuary and you would be asked to remove it if you offended the rule. Children were provided separate quarters for child care and instruction to keep the sanctuary quiet, and conducive to receive the message. The sound techs and building maintenance and every individual associated with a ministry within the church was expected to perform with excellence. Your best for the Lord.

I auditioned for the choir and was selected to sing soprano. It was an awesome experience and one which I will never forget. I sang notes during my tenure on that choir that I had never uttered before. The power and energy from being in the 200 plus group of good and great singers was exhilarating. I felt very blessed to be serving in this way.

I left after 7 years as a member when things took a turn in another direction. The congregation was taking on a different spirit. It seemed that the new members coming in were drawn to the teachings of wealth and prosperity more than worship. Like God is here to serve us instead of the other way around.

I noticed as I got to know some of these people that many of them had similar back grounds of poor or underprivileged child hoods. They never imagined themselves in a better socio-economic situation. Suddenly there was a man they could relate to. He looked like them and came from the same kind of neighborhood. He had experienced want and now he was successful & wealthy and was neither an athlete nor entertainer. Creflo became their celebrity.

His teachings about prosperity and the blessings of being a follower of Jesus Christ were over shadowed by his congregations natural desire for material possessions. And somewhere a long the way kingdom ways meant you had to have the best of everything. Even for Creflo.

I had conflicts with some of Pastor Dollars teachings and ironically the very things he taught me in the beginning of my membership, were the same things that ultimately made me decide to move on. But I will never regret my time there and I will always hold Pastor Dollar dear in my heart. It was under his tutelage that I found the love for the scripture and a knowledge of the same that is now engraved in my heart.

Still, I understand why Senator Chuck Grassley and his cronies have issues with the lifestyles of these celebrated preachers. In these preachers' effort to show their congregations that you don't have to be a seeker of sin to experience the riches of wealth, they have taken on worldly ways. Some of their living is lavish, even extreme. But how do you reach the masses in this information society with glamor and fame shoved in our faces 24 hours a day? How do you reach the young woman aspiring to be like Paris and the young men holding rappers as their icons? Are they going to follow a Christ who says the best of things are only for the wicked? I don't think so...in fact I know they won't.

So somewhere their has to be a balance. An example of fine living that does not include extreme indulgence. Fine living not haughty living. Wealth but not fulfillment of all those things we covet. What do we covet? What we see. So maybe our preachers need to spend less time competing with the bad guys and more time saving them.

Yet,I am not comfortable with the notion that any group of folk can decide they want to do an inquest in to our churches and try to dictate how our church leaders should invest their resources, or what they should or should not own.

All men and women are subject to temptation and seduced by riches. Hence the scripture in Matt 19:23
Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.

I believe Christ said this because He knew a rich man could become distracted away from the things of God. Not only by fulfilling desires, but also with having to manage his/her wealth and maintain it, which almost always requires compromise. Compromise of your integrity, or your time and energy. It is extremely difficult to maintain holiness and money at the same time.

These preachers are people just like you and I. They have flaws and weaknesses, baggage from life's experiences, personal goals and desires. Imperfect. So let's not bash them. Rather let us pray, if they have strayed, Lord bring them back. Where they are lacking in teaching and wisdom, supply it to them. If they have taught falsely by omission or lack of understanding , enlighten. And finally if they are a wolf in sheep's clothing punish, and Lord protect the innocent who are following in blind faith.

How can a man hate his own flesh? The division in the body of Christ, (the church) is madness. Stop the madness people. In the words of that good ole time religion, "We will understand it better by and by".

That's melavision. What's yours?

2007-10-25T13:00:00.000-04:00

The View

Are any of you readers out there checking out ABC's The View? With all of the controversy surrounding Rosie O'Donnell from last season, it looked as if the producers and Barbara Walters wanted to present a gentler more friendly version of the show for their 11th season.

Well what a surprise! The addition of Whoopie Goldberg and Sherri Shepherd is proving to be a little more feisty than not. I personally questioned the hiring of Ms Shepherd who in all of her guest appearances seemed a little out of place with the other members of the show.

Yes she could be engaging and humorous but in a buffoon kind of way. Seemingly sweet but a bit inept. I was miffed at producers and Barbara for sending out this image to America of what a black woman's view is. Of course Sherri cannot be representative of all of black women. Certainly Whoopie whose sheer genius in handling both her co-hostesses and guests, shows a strength and intelligence worthy of exposure and does balance things out.

Still, I think it was the producers who have used Ms Shepherd to portray the chubby, loud and gregarious non threatening ideal of what a black woman should be. Even Whoopie with her non conformist sense of style and beauty appears non threatening to the primarily white female audience. The viewers can admire her intelligence and even fall in love with her without feeling less than because she isn't their idea of attractive. The Oprah effect. The black girl friend who is smart and insightful but you aren't threatened or envious of her looks.

It was obvious that Star Jones was the original Sherri Shepherd role. She was over weight and over bearing at times. She was smart and could be funny, but that bigger than life and bigger body helped the viewers see her either as someone not to take too seriously or more of the mama figure. Once she lost the weight and that image, she was no longer tolerable.

The joke is on Ms Walters and her producers though. Star is doing fabulous with her own Court TV show and I have the feeling the feuding between Whoopie and Sherri is only getting started. Though I am certain that Ms Goldberg will only allow it to go so far on the air.

Whoopie has a dignity about herself and her people that will not share the set with ignorance. And I am not bashing Sherri. She is a good comedic actress. She is a delightful person and she does represent a certain demographic of Americans, just not the demographic watching the View. If she doesn't open herself up to the wisdom of Whoopie I believe the producers are going to experience a tension and discomfort on the set not previously experienced before.

Maybe the joke is on me. The lines between Rosie and Elizabeth were clear and it was easy for the viewers of the show to pick a side. Maybe the producers are smarter than I think and want it to be clearly seen that the stereotype of black women not getting along with one another is true.

Maybe there is no racial consideration here at all. Not overtly intended anyway. Just white folks and black folks acting and reacting as we have been over the history of our relationship with one another. Clearly learned behavior that many times we are unaware we are practicing.

I know I'll be watching The View. If you haven' tuned in, do so and let me know what you think.

That's melavision. What's yours?

2007-10-24T13:22:00.000-04:00

It's hump day!
Half way through the work week for those of you doing the 9 to 5. With droughts and wildfires and melting glaciers I think we need to take a good green look at ourselves. Check me out in a few days for my blog on how each of us can help to heal mother earth.

Today I want to talk about a party I went to over the weekend. It was a girls night only party, organized by some sassy 30 something women. It was a great idea and the turn out was very good, however the execution was horrible.

Since I simply adore planning events and have thought about hosting a few of these naughty parties myself, I have a few things to say.

I think it is a good idea to add variety to your monogamous relationship. Whatever works for you is your business. I do believe however that there are definite parameters between what is sexy, fun and sensual and what is vulgar. I gotta little freak in me, so if I think it is vulgar you can bet it is. Ladies please, don't accept anything in the name of being sexy.

If you are 2 to 4 hundred pounds, you really shouldn't wear something skimpy. Men are extremely visual and unless they are really in to rolls and cellulite.....well, you may get disappointed. Now there is sensual lingerie available for the plus size woman ( I ain't hatin' cause in the past 10 years I have turned in to one) but show off your best assets and keep the rest of them covered. Even for you skinny bitches, its cool to leave something for the imagination. Remember soft lighting makes everything look better.

If you are going to purchase toys, yes toys. Unless you have been in the adult film business, don't buy something that looks like a horse! I might add that these things are to keep you sated when your man isn't in the mood, or to help him get in the mood if he's one that likes to watch. Your toy should NOT become your companion. Even if you are single! They can become addictive if you allow it.

Edibles are fun. Lotions, lubricating gels and the such, but you must be clean. Wash before and AFTER if you don't plan on purchasing monistat a day or so later. And it is never okay at the parties to use the same application on all the participants to sample. That's just nasty and one of our hostesses offended this way at the party I attended over the weekend. YUK!

If you are going to host one of these parties for your friends, or charge a fee for extra talent and instructions.....and you sell tickets and send out fliers about all the food and beverages you can eat and drink.....Try catering unless you are a chef or you know you can burn in the kitchen. Make sure your closest friends and family think you can burn in the kitchen too...it just can't be your opinion. I suggest catering, make your guests or patrons excited about attending another one of your functions.

Make sure as the hostess you are ready, set up and greeting your guests at the scheduled time. I have offended with this plenty of times and its so unattractive, not to mention rude. I'm working on that though. Even if it is your girl friends, treat it like your job. If you were hosting an event for your boss, he/she wouldn't allow you to run an hour or two behind so don't do it to the people you love or are taking money from.

Lastly, if you decide to have some male talent available for a little extra fun. Keep it sexy and not raunchy. Make sure you have a discussion with the talent to set your expectations and what is and is not permissible. Unless you are a swinger or a voyeur (which most in attendance won't be) nobody wants to look at someone simulate sex on another woman or have is member in their face, no matter how delectable it may be. Now that is vulgar.

The purpose of these parties is for the ladies who are more adventurous to help those who are more timid to come out of their shells and explore their sexuality. We will never get what we want out of our men if we don't know what we like. It is always good to share tips and secrets about how to get the most pleasure out of your love making, but please don't describe the intimate details of your partners genitalia etc.
If you do, don't be surprised if one of the ladies is giving your guy the goo goo eyes the next time she is over for tea.

Finally, making love is the ultimate gift one can give to another and it is a spiritually binding connection. I know the world might want you to believe that its just animal attraction... But there isn't a woman alive who in her quiet moments, doesn't think about the men she has bedded and wished she had not slept with at least one of them on her short or long list, because he wasn't worthy.

That's melavision. What's yours?

2007-10-22T14:30:00.000-04:00

Obsessed With Cheating

Happy Monday readers! Here in drought ridden Georgia I am elated to see some rain. Every little bit helps.

Last night I decided to check out Michael Baisden After Dark and just like the first show I tuned in to, and almost every radio show I tuned in to, he continued to discuss cheating. Why men cheat and why it is women's fault.

First of all, it's a myth that ALL men cheat. There are a lot of men who don't cheat. They don't cheat on their girlfriends, they don't cheat on their wives, they don't cheat on tests or taxes. It simply is not in their character to cheat. I don't know many of these men, but they are out there.

Secondly, I think Mr Baisden is so obsessed with cheating because he cannot figure out why HE cannot stay faithful in a relationship. In order to make himself feel better about his short comings, he wants to pin it on all men and make women to blame for it!

I think it is natural to be attracted to multiple people. God wired us for that. It is necessary for procreation. For instance, if we were only attracted to one person in a life time and our mate experienced an untimely death and there were no children, the surviving mate would be left without the ability to procreate.

So while I believe it is perfectly natural to desire others I don't believe it is unnatural to be monogamous. If promiscuity in humans were natural, even an evolutionist would have to agree that the body should not be susceptible to sexually transmitted disease. Our immune systems should have evolved to the point where we could share multiple partners.

In the animal kingdom there are several species that are totally monogamous, but scientifically speaking, it pays to be promiscuous to continue the existence of the species. Not coincidentally, animals do not contract sexual diseases from one another.

Social environment has played more a role in cheating and promiscuity in humans than biology. We were given that extra something that other species do not have. Free will. The ability to reason. To make decisions. We don't have to act out on our biological receptors.

Cheating is easy. It's lazy. I dare say immature. It is easy to be charming and romantic and spontaneous without responsibilities. Share a mortgage, some children, your dirty stinkin drawers with that other woman. Sooner or later a man will be having those same difficult moments with that clean up woman that he was having with his wife, live in lady.... whatever he calls her.

Michael Baisden declared numbers alone indicate that women have to share. Not so. It is true that women out number men. But you will always have those women and men that choose not to partner in life. Loners for whatever reason. Factor in homosexuality. The many women who are partnering with other women. That still leaves plenty of men available for monogamous relationships and black women especially are trying something new. Dating and partnering outside of their race. Don't believe the hype about numbers.

Monogamous couples can use their natural attraction to others to kick up the romance between themselves. There is no harm in knowing that other people find you sexy and desirable. I believe a little flirting is even good with boundaries. Who wants somebody that nobody else wants? Honestly. Using the knowledge that all the ladies in the room want your man and he is going home with you makes you the baddest bitch in the room! The same goes for men. If all the men in the room want your lady and you are taking her home, must mean you got that whip appeal! There are many ways to use your attraction to others as foreplay for great sex with your exclusive mate. That's another blog on another day.

So while the Mr Baisden's of the world continue to find excuses to cheat, let us men and woman who celebrate and practice monogamy stick together and let our voice be heard.

P.S.
Kudos to Mr George Wilson(on the show) who stood up for monogamous men and why men DONT cheat!

That's melavision. What's yours?

2007-10-17T16:46:00.000-04:00

Holiday Planning

I write on the web site called Helium and there was a debate proposed on Christmas. The question was asked whether or not Christians will ever be able to reclaim Christmas as a Christian holiday.

I took some time to ponder this. Like many Christians I am frustrated with the commercialization of Christmas and how it is starting to blend in to all of the other holidays. I mean, people decorate their homes with lights for Halloween now. In fact, last year it was estimated that Americans would spend over 5 billion dollars on Halloween decorations. This figure is second only to Christmas.

So can we reclaim Christmas? I don't think Christians have ever lost the holiday and what we can do to spread the true meaning of Christmas, is to share the love and hope of Christ.

As you plan for this year's holiday season, Thanksgiving and Christmas, I challenge my readers to broaden your vision past your own family and reach out to another family.

This Thanksgiving my immediate family, along with my mother, sister, niece and cousins will select a needy family with the assistance of the counseling department at our local elementary school and provide them with a complete Thanksgiving meal. We will each contribute to a huge basket that will be presented to the family prior to the Thanksgiving school break. Included in the basket will be personal testimonies or words of encouragement with our favorite scripture to share the hope of Christ with the poor.

This Christmas, we will do the same thing along with gifts for all members of the family. In order for it to be a success, we have to start now. We aren't rich people, but we are rich with the love of Christ.

There will be no fan fare. No news coverage. No big posters with toy drives and boxes placed in offices or at doors of grocery stores. It will be just us, a few of Gods children sharing the good news and reason for the season, Jesus Christ!

I believe if every Christian family across the world will do this for another needy family, the hype and stress and elves and Santa's and folks who want to ban Merry Christmas and replace it with happy holidays won't stand a chance!

That's melavision. What's your's?

2007-10-16T12:49:00.000-04:00

MR PERRY PLEASE!

Props to Tyler Perry for his latest film effort, "Why Did I Get Married". The girls and I checked it out this weekend and thoroughly enjoyed this movie. Apparently much of America did, as it's topping box office sales at 21.3M!

It was nice to see so many couples in the movie theatre. I was encouraged that men felt they might find something worthy in this film as well. I know I will be taking my man to see it.

In, "Why Did I Get Married", the roles were well defined and believable. If you didn't see yourself in one of the characters you saw someone you knew. The relationships high lighted in this film showed the importance of true friendship. It also gave a real glimpse of how marriages work, and why many fail. I was impressed with the complexity of each marriage relationship and how friendships are challenged among couples.

There were moments when we laughed, cried out in disbelief, shed tears and wanted to rewrite the scene to suit our individual wishes. But Tyler portrayed things how they are not how they should be.

If you are like me, you'll want to go back during the middle of the day while others are at work, so that you can hear all those scenes the other movie goes muted out with their laughter and comments.

It might stir up some uneasy emotions for you, but it is definitely worth the watch, and it just might remind those among the married why they stay in it for the long haul.

2007-10-15T12:24:00.000-04:00

THINGS THAT MAKE YA WANNA HOLLAR

Blah Blah Blah Blaaahg

When I first found out about Blogger I was so excited. Finally my passion for writing had found a place where I could express my talent and possibly experience a following. I wrote to family and friends across the country and asked for their support. I got it too!

So why blah blah blaaahg? What makes me wanna hollar? Myself! If anyone out there can help me figure out why it is soooooo difficult to stay motivated let me know. Yeah I have life stresses and things get really overwhelming sometimes. But I bet there are hundreds of thousands of people just like me out there, stressed to their limit but still determined to stay on the grind for their dream.

What makes a winner a winner. Is it as simple as the Nike commercial...."Just do it"?

I wonder.

For all of you out there doin your thing....I have mad respect for you. Whatever it is...the fact that you are going after it is a talent in itself. You go!

So today I am going to try to recommit myself to this again. Practice my art...write.

I am sending off a book to publishing houses that I wrote after 9/11 when my then 3 year old grand daughter asked, what is an American.

I think 6 years later we are hated more across the world than ever and this book is as timely as ever.

It is titled, "American Like Me". The story of a young girl who discovers the beauty and wonder of herself and the diverse neighborhood she lives in.

Wish me luck, send me warm and positive thoughts and pray that I keep trying to just do it!

2007-08-27T16:10:00.000-04:00

What's with these kids anyway?

I received a note from my childhood friend today and she was expressing how different the children of today are compared to when we were kids. I never thought I would hear myself saying those 'remember when' words but here I go....

I remember when I would get on my bike and ride four or five miles down a long lonely road pass the monestary and wave at the nuns. I'd turn a corner and slow down to miss the pot holes left in the street from the big rigs that picked up goods from the Pepperidge Farm factory and I would breathe in the sweet aroma of fresh baked bread.

Mom might have wondered where I was but she wasn't worried. I rode my bike....because I could.

On rainy days I sat on my front porch with my girl friend and we played jacks for hours, or put on fashion shows with our paper dolls. We were oblivious to the rest of the world and didn't have a care, save when the rain might stop and whether we would have dinner at her house or mine.

We sat oblivious and care free because...... we could.

On summer evenings before the street lights came on when all the kids in the neighborhood were out, we played red light - green light, simon says, dodge ball, monkey in the middle. We played in the middle of our street while our parents sat out on their front porches and read the newspaper, patted a pet or chatted across fences and bannisters and.....watched us to make sure Joe didn't throw the ball too hard, or I didn't skip someone else's turn.

Right there in the middle of our street.... because we could.

We sat in each other's living rooms and sang hyms and played church, yeah we played church taking turns being the preacher, or we shared records and put on concerts and wrote plays that we performed for our parents and friends. We had the best imaginitation!

We played church because..... our parents took us to church

We sang hyms becuase....we knew them and they made us feel good

We put on concerts because.... we weren't competing we were collaborating

We wrote and performed plays because.....we wanted to be on tv instead of watch tv...because we weren't allowed to watch too much tv anyway and you better not sit too close.

I climbed trees and jumped creeks and drank from dirty faucets and I didn't catch any diseases. We played hop scotch and jumped rope and sometimes I would go to the school yard and practice my shot or play tennis up against the school wall all by myself.

Because....I could.

We didn't want to be bored and we didn't expect our parents to keep us entertained.....it never crossed our minds.

We walked to the deli, and the grocery store and to the newspaper shop or the butcher and we picked up prescriptions and a lottery ticket for our parents or neighbors and nobody ever had to count the amount of pills in the bottle and we wouldn't dare play the numbers ourselves.

We sold seeds door to door to earn prizes, we sold lemonade or frozen cups of kool ade or ran errands for our neighbors to earn money.

Because....we could.

Our neighbors knew our names and who our parents were and our phone number and address and so did the local police man and mail man and store clerk. They were all looking out for us and looking out at us too. If we did something wrong we knew we were going to get a whack on the behind from somebody's mama or grandmom or at least our own mom when those people looking out called our house.

So when I ask what's with these kids anyway....

They can't ride a bike or play in the middle of the street, even if its a cal de sac.

Somebody isn't going to want their peace disturbed or finely manicured lawn to get trampled on or their teen age son isn't going to slow down when the ball runs in front of his Lexus. He might even speed up and sneer when he barely misses smashing into some small child, tickled with himself that he gave the little bastard a scare.

A long lonely road is surely a ticket to "fame" on a "missing photo" post card or on the bulletin board at your local Walmart.

The front porch is gone and we have all retreated to decks and sun rooms hidden behind the privacy fences of our back yards. We don't know our neighbors name or phone number and probably barely speak when we pass each other on the street.

My kid can't play with your kid unless I know where you work, how much money you make and what your political affiliation is. If you go to church you can't be one of those fanatics talking about God all the time and if you don't go you better be mowing the lawn or doing home improvements or on the golf course or doing some weekend thing other than relaxing around your house reading the newspaper and looking at your kids for God's sake!

What's with these kids? They don't have much imagination because they are playing on the computer or their hand held game or watching tv for hours where everything is fast paced and in their face and they don't have to think much about whats going on.

Everything is sarcastic and violent and mean is funny. Copycat criminals invade our communities and our children's minds, where exploration of nature, a hike in a park or following a creek through the neighborhood might put them in certain danger.

We are too afraid to say no to the wrong things and not be the cool parents or we are just too damned tired ourselves from the long commute and the endless schedules of soccer and dance and football and baseball and cheerleading and karate and all those other competetive things that let you know that my kid is just as good as yours if not better and even if we don't ever eat dinner at the table together or have a conversation they are being socialized and learning how to be a force to be reckoned with in this world.

If we aren't getting suckered in to the overscheduled life we are getting sucked in to reality tv and music tv and the glamorous life and we don't feel like teaching simon says or red light green light or watching a skit, we need to get our nails done or our weave sewn in or find out which girl the batchelor is going to choose or who is going to win the million dollars. When those whiny little voices get on our nerves long enough we give in and buy the new video game or drop them at the mall to shop or pay for them to go to the movies, the amusement park, out to eat with friends anything to get them to leave us alone!

What's with these kids? Us!

Its not too late to stop the madness. Its okay not to be their friend. Its even more okay to say no. Your cool days are over. Shock! It's past time to turn off the tv sets and the radio in the car and learn how to talk again. Its also okay to tell your kids the difference between child abuse and good spanking and whack that ass and make them aware of the consequences of crying wolf and let them deal with the consequences. It really is up to us.

Some developers are realizing the importance of community as people grow weary of the long drive to and from work and the economy isn't as bright and it makes less and less sense to try to keep up with the Diddy's and the Hiltons and be glad to just be a Jones! They are building communities with retail centers and business centers and multi-market homes. This takes us back to a place in time where you lived and worked in your community and a kid, could be a kid.

When it's all said and done, will we really care how many days Paris spent in jail or who our favorite character on the soaps was sleeping with or what star took over The Price is Right? All that will matter is our kids, our friends and our family......who we loved and how we loved.

Do something radical this week! Knock on your neighbor's door and invite them and their kids out to a good ole game of dodge ball. If you can't do it in the middle of the street then offer your perfectly manicured back yard or front lawn. Gasp! And watch this infectious love for your kids and community grow!

That's melavision. What's yours?

2007-06-30T00:05:00.000-04:00

Owning Your Truth
No Matter How Ugly It Is

I went bonkers yesterday...yes really bonkers. I am taking some regular meds and missed a few doses and then took something else to make me feel better and it back fired in the worse kind of way. I am a huge advocate of psycho-therapy and medicine. I think everyone needs at least one therapy session in life, whether with a qualified pastor, or some licensed mental health professional. We all have issues and it takes great courage to face them. Most people spend most of their lives running from them.

Anyhow, I wanted to write to say that there is also a great responsibility after seeking treatment to follow your plan as closely as possible. I would rather not take medicine. I don't like it, I never have. There is something very unnatural about it to me. But when told I must, I do. However, I forget to take them a lot....whether it be blood pressure, anxiety(I am a big worrier) or vitamins....I miss doses. I think I avoid them. It means admitting that something is not working right in me and I don't like admitting that.

Well I learned a great lesson yesterday. When you hear about celebrities like Gerald Levert, Anna Nicole and Elvis just to name a few; accidentally overdosing on prescription drugs we are like, yeah right. When you hear of people getting in to trouble doing crazy things and they say it was a side effect from their medicine....again...yeah sure it was.

Well yesterday I was one of those people and I hurt someone I love very much. I stomped on her dreams and mocked her and solicited others to do the same. I am ashamed of that. And so I have been doing some soul searching today.

I realized a few things.

You don't muck around with your medicine. I felt like crap for three days and was not like myself at all. I was doing and saying things and wondering why I was doing and saying them. I was extremely irritable and overwhelmed and angry. I was dizzy and nauseas and had a hard time staying awake. I was moody and surly and I couldn't get it together. Just like a person who is extremely drunk...they know they are drunk, they know they are doing things they should not, they kinda care but not really, and when they try to pull it together, they can't, the alcohol has taken over mind and body. Again, you cannot play around with prescription drugs.

I also realized that I needed to find out where the uglies that I pounded on my loved one came from. I couldn't just blame the medicine. Just like a drunk man speaks a sober heart, the scripture tells us out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. So I examined what is in my heart.

Too much T.V. junk......The Peoples Court, Divorce Court, Judge Judy, Judge Alex, Judge Joe Brown, Judge Mathis, Judge Christina..... people bickering and fighting and being rude and ugly to each other all day long. Not to mention a plethora of other competitive shows where feuding and plotting against each other are par for the course.

Hurt....Someone else close to me really hurt my feelings last week and I was baffled by it, angry about it, tucked it away, got over it....so I thought. I had been rejected and so I transferred that rejection on to her.

Fear.... There are risks I want to take, Leaps I want to jump, things I want to do...but solicitude's grip is paralyzing......so I think I had a little haterade going on. (thanks Dee for making me own up to this one)

And so with a mucked up mind, it opened the uglies that I pretend are not in my heart. I transferred that hurt I felt from one sister and battered the other with my anger over it, (the source of all anger is hurt), I analyzed and politicized and litigated like a judge...one of the mean ones, and I let my fears turn in to hate. I want to be the best, she looks up to me...what if she does better than me? I'm talking about what I want to do and she's doing what she wants to do. Where does she get off? How dare she!

The scripture says if you have offended a brother or sister, go to that brother or sister and ask for forgiveness.

So Andrea, this is my public apology and plea for forgiveness. You have been nothing but supportive, a great cheerleader in my corner. You tenaciously go after your dreams and if one doesn't pan out you reinvent yourself and go for another. That is admirable, not condemnable.

I told you to charge it to my head and not my heart. Well I was wrong. My head was foggy, but it was my heart that needed repair.

The word of God also tells us the truth shall set you free. By facing my ugly truth I am free today and filling my heart up on better food.

Got a nasty mouth? Examine your heart.

That's melavision. What's yours?

P.S. Special thanks to my daughter Deidre, my cousin Cleo and my niece Jenny for encouraging me to take a deeper look. Love Ya'll!

2007-06-17T13:06:00.000-04:00

Graduation

Greetings to all my readers. This Father's Day, my mind is on our recent graduates. Not to diminish the importance all our father's have had in our lives, certainly many of the best of our grads have had the steady hand and firm support of a loving dad. To my own father Donald, I love you and wish the miles did not separate us on this occasion.

I have sat through many graduations and just within the past few weeks was blessed to watch another young life close one door and move slowly forward to her future. Our graduation tears, like those shed at weddings, baptisms and christenings, recitals and all of the other special moments captured in time; for those of us cheering on,are full of conflicting emotions.

We cry not only for the joy of accomplishment, but for the knowing only those of us who have lived long enough to realize, that with each step forward, a loss of innocence and a road of bumps and dangerous curves lie ahead. We see in our graduates a former self, bright, energetic, naive and ready to conquer the world. A tender heart, timid and unsure, but trustfully moving forward, believing if they fall, someone will be there to catch them. A charismatic personality eagerly anticipating freedom and fun filled days ahead.

We cry because we know, with joy comes inevitable sorrow. A dream deferred, some unexpected turn. A challenge we fail. A blossoming and passionate love, lost. We also cry assured in the tenacity we know they will have to prevail, to overcome the challenges. The same tenacity that guided them to this convocation. Some will even transcend their expectations and our own.

A gateway to the unknown is waiting and what we do know for sure, is that it all happens too fast. The time flees like a visit from a bumble bee that stops briefly to pollinate a nearby flower, only to dart away when noticed. It leaves the sweet nectar of life behind while vanishing into the air.

Yet, there is great joy in watching our children grow and aspire to big dreams and ideals. And with the hope of brighter tomorrows we envision them successful, content and changing the world around them. We believe in a wholesomeness deposited in every man to excel and do good for others. We reflect on the tools we gave them that led them to this honorable march, a path they tread alone for a moment, shining in glory, filled with pride and we wait with bated breath until their name is called.

And then we exhale. This part, a job well done.

May all of their tomorrows be filled with the same excitement and sense of accomplishment and may God continue to bless us with His infinite wisdom to help them along the way.

Congratulations to the Graduates of 2007
Stephanie Daniels
Stacia Harris
Rikkita Hooks
Willie Murphy III
Kayla Valentine

2007-05-22T15:09:00.000-04:00

The Treasure of Lost Love

Back in 2000, a group of girlfriends and I were revisiting our past and talking about childhood loves. As we sat there reminiscing about these boys, I noticed the bright smiles and the way their eyes lit up. Some of us had given our virginity to these guys while others loves were completely innocent....well maybe not completely, but the big V was still in tact. The common factor was that these young men loved us all shamelessly. They were proud to have us as their girl, they were kind, gentle, appreciative. They went out of their way to show us how much we meant to them.

All of us were married to different men than those of our early years and it was a bittersweet moment as many of us realized that tender love of yesteryear was unrealized in our current situation. We weren't even sure if it was possible.

One of my girlfriends in particular was in a love-less marriage. She was with a man who not only didn't appreciate her, but was emotionally abusive. A user of women in general, he showed neither discretion nor concern towards my friend.

A religious woman, she had spent many years on her knees praying for change. I was so taken aback by the shear joy in her face when she talked about her first love, I wanted to know more. Later we shared more details one on one, and I realized she was still in love with this person.

This was heavy in my heart for days, even weeks. As if an angel flew from heaven and spoke clearly to me, I was certain they would be together again. When I told my friend of this revelation she laughed. Many many years had passed. She knew where her first love was, ran into mutual child hood friends occasionally, knew he was not healthy. She was married, he had a significant woman in his life. She made sure whenever she visited her home town that their paths would not cross. Yet, I somehow knew her heart was longing for him and his for her.

Over the years, I watched as prayer for change, turned in to condemnation. It was as if my friend felt that she was being punished for disobedience and rebellion as an adolescent. Her abusive relationship was her penance. I rejected that notion and soon offered that she might want to pray for faith to let go and move on with her life. No one was holding her where she was,(in her marriage) especially not God. Love does endure all things, but without love, God is not in the midst. Her husband did not love her, probably never did and if I had my information right, she never truly loved him either.

So we prayed together. My marriage has its own set of issues, most of them do. And a little over a year ago, circumstances beyond her control began to move things in a different direction. Before I knew it, she was divorced. Hooray! Praise the Lord! .....and what do you know, instead of avoiding running in to her first love on a trip back to her home town, she allowed herself to check in on him.

A year later I am profoundly delighted to say she is now married and happier than I have ever known her to be! The love she has adorned on her new husband, her first love, has dramatically improved his health. They are like kids again!

According to research, 3/4 of couples reunited with early life loves, stay together. Less than 2% of those that marry end in divorce. Comparably, second marriages to new lovers almost always end in divorce within 5 years.

So what is it about these early lost loves? I believe when we first experience love, it is with that person who sees you for your true self. You meet during a period of your life when you have not yet become blemished with the cares of the world, yet your core values have been formed. Your values and lifestyle are already known to each other and you are either drawn together because of them, whether it be through school, church or the neighborhood you live in - or you esteem to have the values and lifestyle that you see the other possesses.

In previous generations, like mine, material things like what kind of car you drove and how large of a home you lived in were less important. So, we were able to like a person for their humor, or intellect or athletic prowess or even as simple as their great smile.

If you happened to not have such great parents, your neighbors parented you and young people had the chance to get to know each other without judgment. All of these elements offered the ability to form true intimate relationships. The kind of the heart. When your hearts connect,that is a very powerful thing. I can't help but to also mention that the early physical attraction and chemistry of puberty, usually draws you to a real sexual match as well. So everything clicks.

There is no pretense. Nothing is forced. There are no hidden agendas. Amazingly, when people do reunite after many years, they don't see the lines starting to form in the face, or the weight gain or the hair loss. They just see that friend that was there during a time in their life when things were getting a little scary. No longer a little child but not quite a grown up. Too tall or too skinny, acne or one huge pimple right on the center of our nose, chubby or short, too slow for the track team, or clumsy for football, not popular enough for cheer-leading. Our heads were too big for our small frame or our nose was too big for our small head or our ears just stood out too far. All confused and insecure, awkward, finding our way, building our self confidence, knowing who we are but trying to figure out what we want to be.....and they liked us anyway.

What a treasure.

Warning, before you go looking....you must be available and make sure he/she is available too before you contact. The worse thing is to find that treasure again only to have to leave it in the bottom of the sea because you know it doesn't belong to you.

For Mrs. Allen....good for you girl....good for you!

That's melavision. What's yours?

2007-05-06T23:04:00.000-04:00

Friends & Haters

Last night I went to a fight party at a girlfriends place. She and I have been friends for 14 years. When we met I was going through a hard time and she made me feel so valued. She didn't judge me, and no matter what drama was going on with me, she was right there by my side. Over the years we have drifted apart now and then, but we never let it go too long or allow ourselves to get too busy before we reconnect. I love her.

She is a beautiful lady, inside and out. A native New Orlean, she has a gift for entertaining and getting the fullness out of life. Always a joy to be around. She expects nothing less than the best and she gives it and gets it. She does not apologize for living well and expecting to be treated well. I admire her for that.

Anway, she is in a really great relationship with a wealthy man and he lives in a lavish home in a private country club the likes of which you would see on MTV cribs. Because I am her friend, I am thrilled for her. She is living the life she imagined to live. It is great to see. The wonderful thing about her is that whatever her state of being she shares her fortune with others. The consumate hostess, she has not given up her old friends for newer richer ones, and includes us as often as possible to experience the finer things of life.

I am quite comfortable with that and enjoy those special times with her. What I have noticed though is that some of her "friends" have turned in to haters. Even some of her closest, have disappeared or competed against her over the years. Each time she opens the door to another friend to come and partake, it is common for them to want to tour the house. I have walked along on many tours, usually with a guest I have bought along or with a mutual friend/colleague of ours. What I have noticed is the jealousy among some individuals over the splendor of the home. They make snide comments along the way, whether it be that she left her curling iron out on the bathroom counter, or they aren't feeling the decor, to insinuating that owning such a dwelling is selfish and over indulgent. These are the haters. People whose own dreams and desires were cut short for whatever reason and are irritated by the success of others.

The scripture tells us we should rejoice with those who rejoice(Romans 12:15). You see when someone you love gets blessed, you get blessed. It is a blessing to see your folk happy, doing well, living well. I am rejoicing with ya girl and for your guy too!

And for you haters out there....as long as you are still breathing you can still dream. You may never own the mansion, but you are capable of living fully. Let go of envy and embrace others good fortune. The great thing about dreams is that they can change and they do change. Become a lucid dreamer and change your vision!

That's melavision. What's yours?

2007-04-20T12:33:00.000-04:00

Weekend WoooSaaah

Okay, I had my opportunity to vent yesterday
and get all that yuk out of my system.

Don Imus story....wooosaaah
Sanjaya....woooosaaah
Partial Birth Abortion...wooosaaah
Killing sprees and war......wooosaaah
Taxes......wooosaaah
Whatever got on your last damn nerve this week.......Wooosaaah!

So let's get busy with enjoying life!

For my readers in the ATL, feel like a little romance? I think there are still tickets available for the Keith Sweat and Johnny Gill concert at the Civic Center Saturday. Just don't think about all the rumors regarding Johnny and Eddie Murphy. Not feeling that old school romantic vibe? Check out the Atlanta Film Festival ongoing at Landmark's Midtown Art Cinema. Want to spend some time out in the beautiful Spring weather, I suggest Earth Day:Party in the Park at Atlantic Station, Saturday night 7-10pm...Live music, silent auction, food and tips for living green!

Back up the road in suburban Philly, Center City Gallery Night..TONIGHT and guess what its free! Admission, food and drink on the house, special exhibitions and cocktail reception from 5-8pm. Check out gophila.com for more information. Want some out of the ordinary excitement, how about the family helicopter rides at Brandywine Airport, Saturday at 11am, 35.00. Ad a little spirits to your weekend by visting the Chaddsford Winery for tours of the cellars and wine making, tasting and walking the grounds. You are in for some lovely weather so enjoy!

My Callie family, maybe a little theater at the California Theatre of the Performing Arts Phantom of the Opera, now showing on West 5th Street, contact ticket master for more info, or take a ride over to Big Bear Lake and enjoy the beautiful San Bernadino National Forrest. Maybe just a leisurely browse through the Downtown Farmers Market in Riverside is more your speed.

For the rest of my readers, check out your local events calendar on line, there's always something going on to stimulate your mind, relax your body and spend quality time with your family.

And to all, gettin your praise on never hurts either!
Worship services are in your neighborhood!

Whatever you do, have a Wooosaaah Weekend!

Love and Blessings.

That's melavision. What's yours?

2007-04-19T11:32:00.000-04:00

Sticks and Stones

What a week since last post. I just need to exhale. Don Imus, the Duke rape case, Dannielynn, the ban on partial birth abortion, Sanjaya is booted off, and the tragic killings at Virginia Tech.

When I was a child we used to chant "sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me." A nice concept, but nonetheless untrue. I am amazed at the degradation of our wonderful country and the feeling we all share (wrongly, I might add) that there is nothing we can do about it.

It seems people were shocked at the overtly racist remarks Don Imus made regarding the Rutgers womens basketball team.

The Tennessee girls, "They all look cute, you know."... "That's some nappy headed ho's there." - regarding Rutgers. Don Imus, MSNBC Don Imus in the morning show.

I wasn't shocked. Racism and sexism is still very much alive in America and this guy seems full of it. He has been an equal opportunity offender of many races and groups of people. This was not the first time he said racists things and I betcha he is calling black folks all kinds of unflattering words these days... behind closed doors. Our constitution says he has the right to, and I agree. But I applaud the advertisers, television and radio networks who decided not to pay him to do it.

What saddened me was the rage from so many white Americans over his firing. Not since the O.J. case have I witnessed such venom from the eyes of those we've come to think of as friends,....our co-workers, television personalities that we enjoy watching, news anchors and neighbors.

How dare black people stick up for themselves! Hip hop artists call us bitches and ho's so why can't everyone else? Al Sharpton and Jessie Jackson have each said and done reprehensible things themselves, so how dare they rally to these women's defense.

Ironically, the teams are both primarily black and if you switched their jersey's around, I'd be willing to bet Don wouldn't know the difference.

And Lord have mercy, just when you think, great, thank you America for sticking up for the black girls....the case against the Duke boys gets dropped. There was no evidence to support the young woman was raped. I don't think anyone is mad at that. We do not want innocent people going to jail for crimes they did not commit. But that venom again...woo...it was like vindication for Don....see they are nappy headed ho's!

Then the baby daddy drama with poor little Dannielynn, the daughter of Anna Nicole Smith. Another stripper, porn model and actress. Blond hair blue eyes, deified in her death. There was something I liked about Anna and I felt really bad for her, and short of being sewed by Howard K Stern for defamation, I knew when her son died she would be gone shortly after. But for her death and the paternity of her baby girl to be the head line in the news for over two months! Exhale. Let's just hope for Dannielynn's sake, Larry proves to be a good father.

What can we say about Virginia Tech. So much grief. I saw the big red VT sign for the first time just a few weeks ago while traveling interstate 81through the beautiful blue ridge mountains. It struck me that this was an awesome place to build an university and how much the students there much enjoy their surroundings. Never would I imagined the horror that would take place weeks later. My heart and prayers go out to the families of the victims and the family of the disturbed young man who perpetrated this heinous act.

Sanjaya. Good looking mild mannered teen aged boy whom American Idol producers and judges thought was good enough to make the top 24 and then suddenly started to dis him when he grew a fan base. Sanjaya was voted off yesterday after weeks of enduring scrutiny and down right meanness. He is not the worst singer the show has ever had. His delightful personality began to blossom during the show amidst all of the negativity and he does have a nice voice. There are less gifted artists selling number one hits after studio engineering and marketing executives polish the package. I said it before, one of the lowest of lows this season of AI, and I am extremely disappointed in their unabashed attack on this young person.

The ban on partial-birth abortion. 1973 Roe vs Wade, the Supreme Courts decision to uphold the right for a woman's privacy to abort a fetus up until the point the fetus is deemed viable to survive outside of the woman's womb. This right has been debated continuously over the years and no doubt this new decision begins a new fervor of angst and divide among Americans.

Partial birth abortion is a gruesome procedure to remove a fetus, usually in the second and third trimester of gestation, by inducing labor and extracting the fetus breach(legs first). In most cases, the fetus' arms and legs are dismembered while the head remains in the vaginal cavity and then the back of the skull is fractured and the brains of the fetus vacuumed out. The procedure is not graphically explained to the women seeking such abortions and in my opinion is nothing short of murder. There are too many readily available birth control options today, to use this barbaric procedure as a method to eliminate unwanted pregnancy.

I believe it should be an option for women who are at risk of death if they proceed with the pregnancy. I also think it should be available to terminate the pregnancies of those fetus whose lives will not be viable once born. Such as those with lethal birth defects. Even then there must be a more humane way to end those lives with some dignity.

Sticks and stones.....what are we learning now about ourselves? Words do hurt us, they take joyous and honorable moments and scathe them with controversy and divide, words meant to give freedom and rights to us are twisted and turned and lobbied to make it easy for a mentally disturbed individual to purchase guns and go on a killing spree...words turn innocent young girls to find value as strippers, confusing lust for love and perversion for admiration.

What are we saying about ourselves when we are glad that young men have escaped rape charges but we find nothing wrong with those men placing an order for women to come and dance naked at a party, while they taunt them and call them names and suggest a broom stick might make the party a little more enjoyable.

Sticks and stones.....we watch as people throw them at each other and become more concerned with who fathered a baby who could inherit millions than what clandestine meetings and shredded paper and lost emails are happening in our nation's capital......and names....seemingly intelligent people, t-v personalities, radio show hosts and yes bloggers, jump on the mean wagon and tear apart a young man with words we may never know how deeply hurt his soul.

Stay tuned for more tomorrow....

Until then,
That's melavision. What's yours?

2007-04-10T17:58:00.000-04:00

For Every Thing...There is a Season

Wow, it seems so long since I last posted....February...eons ago(smile). I have been quite a busy lady and now we are in the bloom of Spring. Unseasonably cold, but never the less Spring! As I swallow up the sunshine in my sunroom and recooperate from the past few weeks momentus occasions, I think about the seasons of our lives.

The week of March 25th, I mourned the loss of my dear paternal uncle, John Crabb Sr. and celebrated the birth and life of my maternal grandmother Helen Nelson. I remember the week before vividly, Tuesday, March 20th. It was around the noon hour when I had a sudden urge to pray for Uncle Johnny. I knew he was suffering and that hospice had been taking care of him and preparing him for his imminent death. As I began to pray for him, my own spirit was lifted, because though I could not be by his side physically, I knew I was saying my own good-bye spiritually. I prayed for peace in his heart and mind, rest for his body, strength for the family to let him go, forgiveness for his sins, mercy and for the Lord to welcome his spirit and to embrace him. I asked for a fear free transition and whatever he, Uncle Johnny, may need to pass on.

The next night I was working feverishly on a celebration keepsake for my grandmother's 100th birthday party. The event was a little over a week away and I needed to get the booklet finished for print. I committed myself to stay up all night if necessary. Around 12:20a.m. I grew extremely weary and resolved myself to go to bed. Though I wanted to continue my task, it was indeed a labor of love, my body said 'rest'. When the phone rang shortly after 6a.m. I knew Uncle Johnny had passed away. I was told he passed at 12:30 a.m. I did not weep, and I was not grief stricken, for I knew he was leaving that week and I had prayed my good-bye. Instead, I thought back of fond memories and my heart went to my cousins John and Johnita, my dad and his siblings and Billy a son recently introduced to the family. And then I thought about the great celebration I was organizing for my grandmother and how awesome life is.

I drove home to PA for Uncle Johnny's funeral services and we celebrated his life. I saw cousins I had not seen in years and we hugged and kissed. I held on to his twin Joanie and my dad, Donald. I looked around at the family there and thought about how special each and every one of us are, how glad I am to have them in my life.

Johnita and I shared an embrace after I viewed the body and there were no words necessary, the love between cousins, daughters of brothers, understanding her pain and knowing I too one day will experience the same, and she will comfort me.

The next day I shopped for decorations and picked up linens and arranged tables and chairs and went over final details for Helen's celebration. I had labored long and hard and there were highs and lows in the planning process. I was nervous and excited and worried all at the same time. Family were arriving from across the country and the mayor was going to pay special tribute and the senator and the news paper was coming and I wanted it all to go perfectly. My family and I had planned a great tribute and I had taken on most of coordination.

Saturday morning my niece Jennifer and I joined hands and we prayed. And the celebration was beautiful. Grandmom was overwhelmed with the outpouring of affection towards her. I hugged cousins I had just met, and shook hands with dignitaries and smiled as the great grands served the elders their meal. I watched my own children, so thankful they were participating and sharing this experience with me.

I rubbed the backs of my mother and my cousins as they welled up with emotion thinking about the life of our dear matriarch and what she means to us all. We shared poems and songs and favorite memories. It was officially Helen Nelson day and she received the key to the city. We all reveled in her magesty and felt grateful for her legacy of love for family and church.

I fought back my own tears as different members of the family came to thank me for the hard work and the execution of the program. I did cry when my beloved friend and dearest cousin Danisa took the mic to give me accolades. I didn't want them, didn't need them....I was happy to help create such a cherished memory for the family. And as I looked at each of them, all colors and shades and sizes and shapes and social class....I thought, what a beautiful blessed people we are. Special, each and every one of us. So glad to have them in my life.

The seasons of life. In one week I shared unspeakable joy and sorrow and the common denominator was love. Love that lasts 100 years and into eternity.

When winter comes and days are short, the nights long and cold
Lonely hearts mourn those long gone while couples spoon
Those prepared, warm their bellies with hot food and take shelter
from their labor
and rest
We grow tired of the grey and the bare trees and dry earth...and then
Like rain from heaven we are renewed with the dew of spring
We plant our gardens and our flowers and go about getting out
Days a little longer, time to visit friends and walk in the sunshine
We take in the aroma of new life
Then summer finds us busy, sweating and socializing and running to
Cooler places and sipping iced drinks and we cook outside on grills
And do the electric slide at family reunions and revel...
in the fullness of life
Until the brisk air of the fall calls us to gather again and prepare for another winter
Spending time with family over the holidays and filling up on love
Love.... enough..... for every season

Celebrate your life and those you love by loving the ones you love every day.

That's melavision. What's yours?
Ecc 3:1-8
1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

2007-02-17T12:46:00.000-05:00

FORGIVENESS

I used to think that forgiving someone meant that no matter what terrible thing had been done to me, I wouldn't hold it against them. Yesterday, while watching Oprah's follow up on "The Secret", I realized just how wrong I was.

Today I feel like a new person! Rev. Dr. Michael Beckwith and Philosopher James Ray were guests on the Oprah show and as they talked and shared with the audience, I was reconnected with the spiritual principles I had previously learned, as well as truths I have always known.

I often wondered why after I had forgiven someone, I still felt angry. Though I had committed not to hold the violation against them, I still relived it often in my mind, with the same level of hurt and condemnation as when it first happened. Until yesterday.

Now I understand that forgiveness includes thanking those persons(yeah thanking them) for giving you the experiences that allow you to know yourself better. To realize your strengths and increase them. To face your weaknesses and improve on them.

Once you stop feeling like a victim you can take ownership of your life! You can look back, even if it was just yesterday and find your truth in the situation. Knowledge to assist you in living better, wiser, fully. Most times when we have been done a wrong, we put something negative out there that received a negative response. Sometimes of course the response is far more horrible than what you sent out, however it was indeed a reaction to your actions. Haters are out there, we all know that and you don't have to do anything but shine to get them to conspire to harm you, & there are circumstances when heinous things are done to us that we had nothing to do with at all. Like when a child is molested...they had no role in that what so ever. But they can learn about their individual power from it later.

These opportunities to forgive, show us who we are, how we react to challenges, difficult moments, even abominations. And then we can decide whether we want to find our power, or give it away. It's up to you. You can relinquish it, leave it in a sea of negativity, or you can not be afraid of it(your power, your oneness with God), harness it, rise with it, live richly!

So for all of those who have hurt me, lied on me, beat me, abused me, stole from me, disrespected me, thrown obstacles in my way.....thank you for giving me the experiences. I know my power now, and I am on my way!

..but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little. (Luke 7:47)

That's melavision. What's yours?

2007-02-12T00:05:00.000-05:00

SIGNS & WONDERS

I spent some time this past week tending to my mother while she underwent cataract surgery. As I waited in her hospital room, I pondered the miracle taking place down the long corridor. I felt no sense of trepidation or doubt. As the minutes passed, I left briefly for a cup of coffee and a bagel from the cafeteria on the ground level. When I returned I watched the Today Show until I dozed off into a restful sleep. Again, no worries. My faith was in the hands that guided the hands.

I was awaken by a presence that was gentle yet authoritative and opened my eyes to see mom's physician, Dr. Menon, a diminutive Indian woman with precise fingers and a charming spirit. She advised that the surgery went very well and gave instructions for mothers post operative care. She thanked me for being there and walked toward the door. As if urged, she turned to me and said, "You know your mother is one of my favorite patients. She is such a sweet lady."(A lover of God) She gave me a broad and knowing smile and I smiled back while giving my gratitude. I thought back to the previous surgery and remembered her prayers for my mother. The doctors trust in God was genuine.

Several hours later after getting mom back home, she took off the protective shield covering her eye. Her face lit up as she looked out the kitchen window and around to the family room. She told me in great detail the clarity and new beauty she was experiencing looking at every day things. My mother was looking through both eyes, now fitted with artificial lens.

"Verily verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do he shall do also, and greater works than these shall he do because I go unto my Father."
John 14:12

So many people today, believers & unbelievers look for signs and wonders. They want to hear a trumpet in the sky and a thundering voice. People ask, why aren't the things that happened in the Bible still happening today? I boldly say to you that they are happening right under your face.

I believe when Jesus said the above words in John he was talking about a little girl named Akiane born to atheist and spoken to by God who paints through her hands and spreads His love on canvas. Who by this gift has saved her parents and given them a charge on life. Jesus was talking about Dr. Menon, and Dr. Ben Carson, Oprah Winfrey and Bill Gates, Oseola McCarty and all of the many regular people who have touched and changed the lives of others.

The lame walk and the deaf hear, the blind see. The hungry are fed and monstrous men change their hearts. There are prosthetics now that are connected directly to the brain and moved with thought. We talk to one another across the globe on phones that are connected to the air. We travel from state to state and country to country in a manner of hours. Automobiles talk to us and tell us which way to go and call on assistance if we drive into a ditch.

Hot water, warm showers, air conditioning in the sweltering heat and heat in the bitter cold. The sound of children laughing lightens our burdens and makes us smile even while war is on our television sets. A new born baby can make us be still and stare in awe and we feel peace and goodness and virtue. A hug from a friend, an unexpected card in the mail, a favorite song. Signs and wonders we are all too busy to see.

Close your eyes and think about it, you're just one miracle away from the wonder.

That's melavision. What's yours?

2007-01-29T15:37:00.000-05:00

Redefining Beauty

As the awards season in Hollywood is upon us, I started reflecting on what beauty is today. With all of our modern technology, computer generated images and plastic surgery, the world is redefining beauty in ways that deceive us, discriminate against and deny the true majesty and wonder of the human body.

More and more our televisions, theater screens and media prints are disseminating visions of women that all look alike. Be it White, Black or Latino, the symmetry of the eyes, the width and length of the nose, the color and shape of the teeth, fullness of the lips, the texture and hue of the hair, the size of the breasts and slenderness of the hip, the copper golden glow of the skin and the roundness of the bottom are all starting to meld in to one image.

What is this image saying to our young girls and us women? How do we look in to the mirror and value our selves as we compare the reflection to those we are presented with as beautiful, acceptable, indeed lovable?

I applaud Dove for their campaign for real beauty. They are challenging Hollywood and the advertising industry and each of us to honor our true selves, our real likeness to the one who created us.

Deception is very simply, evil.

The author of deception is the enemy, satan, the devil, the power of darkness...whatever you want to call him. The scripture John 10:10 tells us "The thief comes not, but for to steal, and kill and destroy".

The Greek word for deceive is planaho, which according to Strong's dictionary means "cause to roam from safety, virtue or truth, go astray, seduce, wander and be out of the way". Are we not being led away from the safety of loving self, seduced by false images, wandering aimlessly for an unachievable likeness?

This new definition of beauty is Stealing our Children, Killing our Diversified Uniqueness & Destroying our Self Esteem.

Love Your Hips & Curves
Love Your Thin or Broad Nose
Love Your Soft Swollen Thighs
Love Your Brown Blue or Green Eyes
Love Your Thick Thin or Kinky Hair
Love Your Style No Matter What You Wear
Love Your Dark Pale Brown or Pink Skin
Love the Body You are In

Help me salute Dove and watch this video:
http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.ca/film_fullscreen_evo.html

2007-01-18T22:16:00.000-05:00

American Idol....Disappointing

I have been a big American Idol fan since its debut. Though it lost some interest for me and I did not watch the season Carrie Underwood won, I came back last season to check it out again. I was so impressed with the talent last season that I was really looking forward to season six.

I know that many people enjoy the first few weeks of absolutely hideous auditions. And I must admit that in seasons past, I have enjoyed a few guffaws at the contestants expense myself. However I was already beginning to feel this pre-show circus act was a little played out. Though I really wasn't interested in watching until the real competition begins, I did. What I saw last night was unforgivable.

Its one thing to poke a little fun at someone who is tone deaf. I can get a cheap laugh from a contestant who is delusional and obnoxious. But humiliating persons who are obviously mentally challenged is just mean. There is absolutely no humor in watching a mildly retarded or functionally autistic person get their feelings crushed, or stare blankly ahead totally confused.

I especially find it distasteful knowing what I do about the audition process. A friend of my daughter's auditioned a few years ago. She alleged that there are a series of auditions one must go through before they ever get the opportunity to go before Simon, Randy and Paula. These initial auditions are performed for the producers of the show. According to my source, it is apparent that they are looking for the absolute worst singers to fill these first few weeks of the show, and that some very good talent is passed over(yes she was one of the them). I am inclined to believe her because some of her statements have been echoed by previous contestants on the show.

I imagine that there are certain looks, personality types, and genre strength that the producers have decided will compose the best possible entertainment, long before the auditions even begin. No matter how well you might sing, if you don't fit the cast of characters they are looking for you won't get passed through to the judges. One fellow this season was given the golden ticket to Hollywood on this, his third attempt and first time before the judges.

I think America is becoming too hard hearted and it is a frightening realization. When we find violence, misogyny and now the humiliation of the least of our peoples entertaining....(certainly we must, because last nights show had the highest ratings ever).....it is time to be afraid. We all should be feeling uncomfortable. I hope at least some of us are, because discomfort is a motivator for change.

That's melavision. What's yours?

2007-01-07T20:32:00.000-05:00

Emptying the Nest

There aren't too many things harder for a mother than when her children leave the nest. Whether they jump out on their own or if you have to push them, it hurts. Despite all of the books on raising children, every family is unique and there really isn't a perfect plan. Mistakes are bound to be made and no matter how hard you try, kids are going to make their own way.

I think the most difficult time in a parents life is when their children are teenagers. It is excruciating. I believe mother's need to be home with the kids then more than ever. During those crucial years we really give our kids the tools they need to move on to adult living. Provided we give them the attention, encouragement and tough love they need, the road ahead can go smoother. When you work, it is inevitable that your attention will be torn, as well as your energy.

Many times we as parents get caught up in the mistakes we made along the way, especially during those crucial years and we want to make right for all of our wrongs. We get overwhelmed with guilt. We want desperately for our kids to know how much we love them. Sometimes in this process we overindulge, we turn a blind eye, we make excuses and we frantically scurry about trying to please them, even when those teen years are over.

I've been there. And nothing more freeing than forgiving yourself. Let go of your mistakes. You did the best you could do with the tools you had, your combined experiences. You do better as you learn better. Your children will not understand your choices or your decisions until they cross that path on their own journey of parenthood. Some may still hold on to your mistakes, and try to hold you hostage to them. I am here to tell you, don't let them. Find your peace and pray for theirs.

The worst thing we can do is to keep them in the nest too long or let them tarry when they return. Their wings don't develop and may even get weaker. Their eyesight gets narrow. Their belly's are never full enough. They just keep wanting more and more. They may even grow to resent you, because instinctively they know they cannot fly unless you let them go.

So, Let them go. Trust God to watch over them. Have faith in your prayers for them. Keep believing for the best for them. Give them a nudge, be it gentle or aggressive. Suck up your pain, look away for a moment if you must, and even if they fight back...push, push......push....and watch them fly.

That's melavision. What's yours?

2007-01-04T19:28:00.000-05:00

Thoughts on the New Year

Happy New Year to all of my readers and thanks for the support and encouragement! Today is the 4th of January and as I reflect on things past and look forward to things to come, I have a bevy of random thoughts passing through my mind.

Like, I love women but I hate ho's. Women are sisters, girlfriends, confidants. They take care of their children and their husbands and they volunteer at church or in the school or somewhere else in the community. Women keep their families together and make their house or apartment or loft feel comfy and warm or elegant or romantic. Women honor their mamas and their daddies and their children and themselves and especially each other.
But ho's.....oh those ho's. Ho's dress themselves up in clothes in previous times relegated to hookers and while they spend their money on trips to the nail salon and get their hair oh so unbeweavable, their little girls and little boys walk around with raggedy clothes, nappy or tangled hair and broken down shoes. Ho's call their mamas bitches. They embarrass their kids when they come to the parent teacher conference at school. They will do your man and my man and anybody else's man to get a bill paid, or their grass cut or a dime bag or some snow(not the kind that falls from the sky) or just some sexual maintenance. A ho can be confronted by a wife or a girlfriend and lie with a smirk on their face or even brag about what your man is doing for them and with them. A ho will come to church and sit on the front pew in a mini skirt without panties and flash the preacher! Been thinking about some ho's I have come in contact with over the past several years and like I said, I love women but I hate ho's.

Another thing I was thinking about was what a bitch I used to be when I was skinny. I think I am going to start a regular weekly post on that....I used to be a skinny bitch, and everyone else who used to be one too can post how awful they used to be, how much they miss it, and what a nice person being fat has turned us in to! Stay tuned...

Speaking of fat, what is the deal with Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump. Is this guy a creep or what? I am no huge Rosie fan, although I must admit that even though I vowed I would never watch the View again after the distasteful way things went down with Star Jones, I do tune in almost every day to see what outrageous things will be said and what bickering will happen between the co-hostesses. And yes Rosie has a big mouth and can be awfully obnoxious sometimes but I know I can be sometimes too(obnoxious) but I mean well and I know that I am a good person, just need to shut up sometimes, so I have a little sympathy for her....just a little. But the attack that Trump went on against her was just ridiculous. Speaking of ho's....what an attention ho he is!

I know you're probably thinking what happened to the spiritual God loving MissMel of recent weeks....still here...that is just the complex and wonderful creation I am......smile
And I think that is what most of us seeking God are....real people, with real issues, real things that make us just want to scream, real prejudices, flaws, lusts wants and everything else human....only some of us don't pretend to be perfect and don't expect to be.

So back to my venting. I had an acquaintance in the news this week for leaving two children unattended over the Christmas holiday and one of these poor kids fell in to a diabetic coma. I could not believe that I knew this person, entertained them in my home, fed them and welcomed them back and now he is on action news at 6! It made me think about how well we really know people, even the ones we live with.

Like why the heck did my husband die his hair strawberry blond last night? ( Love you baby) I mean I was on the web looking up the top ten signs your spouse is cheating, male mid life crisis and men on the down low...... I am hoping he is the middle....realizing at this new year that he is getting older and trying to cover up those gray hairs sprouting up on top of his head. To his defense he did not realize the hair color in our bathroom cabinet was going to change his natural sandy brown hair to strawberry blond and is quite horrified! I am pretty certain that since marrying at the ripe age of 19 and both of us failing to remain totally committed over the years that those days are in the past(better be) and every time I caught him cheating before it was with a woman so I can't blame it on the down low either...smile(again....love you baby...don't be mad at me for sharing)....and if you are wondering why I would share, its because we survived it and we still love each other, and my hope is that my journey will help you on yours.

And finally my random thoughts skirted around to family today. I had a wonderful lunch with my oldest daughter, a wonderful Christmas with family and friends and have been keeping the grands over the Christmas break. As my 19 month old grandson took an almost terrible twos tantrum in my living room floor yesterday and I was almost at the point of exasperation, my niece and her beau stopped by scooped up the kids to give me a break and I took a nice long nap. I had a relaxing evening and when I woke up this morning, I thought about how terrifically blessed I am to have the people I have in my life, the unconditional and completely unashamed love we share for one another and the comfort of knowing as I embark on another year they will be with me all the way. Love them love them love them!

As you take time to peruse your own random thoughts, smell your roses whatever they be and look forward to your best year. As pastor TD Jakes has once said, " You haven't lived your best day yet!"

That's melavision. What's yours?

2006-12-26T22:22:00.000-05:00

Dream Girls...Worth the Hype!

Wow! We decided to have a girls day out this afternoon to see the movie DreamGirls. I am a bit of a skeptic and wanted to see for myself if the film lived up to all of the hype in the media over recent weeks. Well I can say for me, it did.

My favorite moment in the film is from the photo above where Jennifer Hudson sings the ballad made famous by former dream girl Jennifer Holliday, "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going". Though this place in the movie is about Effie and Curtis, it was also about us. Our individual heart breaks, the struggle of our people, the desire to be heard. And you can feel Jennifer throughout the song. I felt her every failed audition, the rejection from American Idol producers and voters during her competition & every heart ache she has spent with her tears. Who doesn't want to declare, I am worthy and worthy to be loved?

Jennifer poured herself into that song and like melting butter over a baked potato, each one of us sucked it up and we felt her pain, goose bumps tingled up our arms and the hairs on the backs of our necks rose up while we agonized with her. This was a rendition that will effect me the same way each time I hear it.

And might I just say that there is deserved praise for every person in this film. There is no reason to tear down one artist over another or even compare. I have heard a lot of that regarding Beyonce and Jennifer Hudson. Beyonce seems to be getting the brunt of all of those touchy places in our beings over skinny vs fat, light skin vs dark skin, blond vs brunett. All of our vulnerabilities come bubbling to the surface with this movie and some of us want someone to be mad at. Let us show our love to Beyonce as we watch her develop her acting skills and relish her outstanding vocal abilities while we celebrate the beginning of a new rising star in Jennifer. There is room for them both.

Jennifer gives a powerful performance, soul renching, and her acting was fresh and honest, totally believable. A natural actress. What a feat for a first time performance in a leading role at that! There are definitely more great things ahead for her and I agree that she is worthy of an Oscar nod. She made that character come alive so much so that I want to go out and buy a Florence Ballard album!

What worked so well for me about Beyonce's performance was the innocense and fragility that she brought to the character based on Dianna Ross. She actually made me feel sorry for Dianna whom I had long decided based on Hollywood lure, was a conniving diva. Eddie and Jamie were equally as wonderful in their roles! I knew Jamie was based on Berry Gordy and it was a sad look at how the lust for money can make a person with good intentions and greatness turn wicked. And I think we all grieved for the combination of Jackie Wilson, Marvin Gaye and James Brown portrayed by Eddie Murphy.

Everyone in this movie was remarkable. The A liners, the newbies and the veterans. There was a connection with the soul. We all have a dream, a special something we wish to be or do. We have all felt the pain of being cheated, the joy of success, the ugly truth we find out about others and ourselves. This cast and Bill Condon have given us a classic to add to our video libraries and the libraries of our hearts.

Ps. Keep in mind that dreams change as we grow and a dream deferred is still a dream. Go and get yours.

2006-12-19T20:35:00.000-05:00

Where is your "G" Spot?

Well it has been weeks since I last blogged. I was in a real funk. No Christmas blues or anything like that, just lost my motivation. I realized why. Because I am on to something here. My destiny. Writing is like breathing for me. Since I didn't get the kind of response I was looking for on my last blog, it left me feeling a little down. A little out of breath, starving to make the words come alive. So I am asking today, where is your G spot?

Now, I am not talking about that place an inch and a half or so on the inside of the posterior region of a womans pot a gold. (If you want more on that subject stay tuned for a future post on keeping things sexy). No not talking about that spot.

I am talking about your God spot. We have time for Christmas shopping and Christmas parties, baking cookies and hanging decorations. We smile at one another and say thank you more than usual and we ask complete strangers which they think our nephew would like better the choo-choo train or the legos? But do we take a pause for the cause? Are we making effort to be aware that Jesus indeed is the reason for the season?

I will keep writing to those lost in the hype of hollywood and encourage them to find their G spot. Our God imparted a portion of Himself in to all of us. Made us a little lower than the angels...

Got Christmas angels on your tables & on your tree? How about in your heart?

We all have a G spot waiting to be tapped in to. That spot that calls you to a quiet place where hope is not lost, a place where promises of seeing again those who have passed on, eases grief. A place that urges us to practice random acts of kindness, to act with love and not emotion. A place that nags at us to be better, excellent in all of our endeavors, the best of ourselves, a praise to our God. You see we were born to be a praise. What better way to praise God than to live fully & love completely.

While I shopped today the greatest treasure was from a thrift store where I purchased a dusty inexpensive painting with the inscription:

"And now abideth Faith, Hope, Love, these three; but the greatest of these is Love"

God loves you and so do I.

Where's your G spot?

2006-11-28T15:23:00.000-05:00

Is this for reel?

It seems like everyone in Hollywood is breaking up these days. Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, Britney and K-Fed, Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe, Hillary Swank and Chad Lowe just to name a few. Still others are fallling head over heals in love. Make a movie and a few love scenes later people are hooking up off the set. Brad and Angelina, Jennifer and Vince, Michele and Heath. Some even get their child hood dream, Rick Fox had a crush on Vanessa Williams when he was in college, and let's not even talk about the twighlight zone- ish, media blitzed love affair and recent marriage of Tom Cruise and poor Katie Holmes.

Even the average Jane and Joe are so caught up in the romance and glamour of Hollywood FICTION that long lasting relationships and certainly marriage are taking a huge hit. It seems we all, celebrities and the rest of us, have gotten lost in the stories that were created to entertain us. Sadly we are left disillusioned, broken hearted and ever searching for the unattainable. Below is an excerpt of a book I am writing exploring it all. If you would like to read more, please sign up for an account and post your message.

"Some Day My Prince Will Come"

Think back, for as long as you can remember, somebody has been filling your head with fantasies. Indoctrinating generation upon generation with delusion, false expectations. Setting you up for disappointment and failure.

Picture this. A young woman, standing in a field of flowers, the wind blowing in her hair, her dreads, her braids, whatever. She lifts her face to the bright blue sky, stretches her neck, closes her eyes against the piercing rays of sun and begins to dream. She is thinking about the tall dark man she's been secretly longing for for months. Her white cotton dress brushes against her thighs as she slowly turns circles in the field. She opens her eyes and there he is, watching her from afar. Their eyes lock and then they begin to run, faster and faster until they are entwined in a passionate embrace.

Another young woman, tied down to the railroad tracks. The train is quickly approaching. Shrilling screams burst from her throat. Her death is imminent. Suddenly, a swathing young man comes to the rescue and frees her just in the nick of time. He saved her life and she will love him forever.

Yet another woman struts across the stage, her young taut frame glistening with fragrant oil, body glitter flickering under the strobe light. She twists and shakes, grinds and thrusts her pelvic to the sensuous beat of the music. There are songs written about her. She has a special customer who comes to see her often. A professional athelete. He slips one hundred dollar bills into her g-string and asks for her number. He tells her that she is too special for this line of work and he takes her to dinner, the movies, the hippest parties. She has a reserved seat at his games. He asks her to marry him. She is beautiful and fits well with the rest of his trophies. She moves in to his 3.2 million dollar home twenty miles away from the arena and they live in wedded bliss.

And then still another, dressed to the nines in her Dolce & Gabbana wool suit and Manolo Blahnik shoes, Vera Wang splashed in all the right places. She comands attention when she enters a room. She has paid her dues and is a woman to be reckoned with. Long hours in the office, frequent travel, pilates, yoga and spin class have given her the perfect job, perfect body and left her perfectly lonely. Then one evening after a session at a corporate conference he is there. They exchanged business cards earlier in the day. Two cosmos, two condoms and two days later she is in love.

Cut.

All of this is bullcrap! There are no princes coming to rescue you. There is no tall dark handsome man standing by waiting to fall in love with you. These are stories, fairytales, blockbuster movies, not real life.

Dreams are good. They motivate, inspire and elevate us to new levels of being. Fantasies however are for the silver screen. They are meant for temporal pleasure and escape. Some are even dangerous, detrimental to your health and well being.

Take a moment to think about it. Could one of these women be you? All of them have unique and wonderful qualities, I'm sure. Instead of wanting and waiting they could be living each day to its fullest potential. Volunteering at a local shelter, feeding the hungry, answering phones at a crisis center. They could be reading to a child, laughing with a grandmother, having dinner with dad, or shopping with mom. Perhaps they could be babysitting for a brother and his wife, sharing a bottle of wine with a cherished friend.

You are not half of a person. Nobody completes you. Our goal is becoming whole within. Accepting the love of the Creator, honoring our bodies, developing our minds. Knowing our truth and our love is found in the richness of our families, the common struggle for good, being a blessing to others and centered in our individual spiritual faith.

If you still need to be rescued by a prince, might I suggest;

John 4:14

Jesus answered," but whosoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up..."

2006-11-14T21:41:00.000-05:00

Beating the Holiday Blues
Well it is that time of year again when we all start preparing for our big turkey dinner and gift wrapping. The holiday season with its scrumptious food and tokens of love brings out the best in many of us, but for millions it is a time of excrutiating sadness. What factors cause this sadness and what can we do about it?

Unrealistic Expectations
Our quest for the perfect holidays often leaves us feeling cheated.
I have the fondest of holiday memories as a child. There was more than enough food, family came from near and far to share in good eating, singing and sharing of our history and current events.

At Christmas time there was a bounty of gifts surrounding the tree. Our home was trimmed inside with my mothers special touch. My brothers made certain the lights were strung across the front porch to shine through the night. It was the Christmases of Norman Rockwell and The Andy Griffith Show and The Brady Bunch. The Jeffersons were movin on up.

I imagine many people have fond child hood memories of Thanksgiving and Christmas much like my own. Cherished memories we wish we could recreate. We want the perfect gifts to give, the perfect food to serve, host the perfect party, be invited to the party with the in crowd. We want to splurge on our children and receive a gift from our significant other that says "I really love you."- and we want that person to read our mind and know exactly what that gift is! We expect our holiday to be just like the ones of those cherished past times or better! So we set ourselves up for disappointment.

Over Commercialization
The past is the past. People are busier. The simplicity that was is no longer. Thanksgiving is more of a blip on the calendar than a day of gratefulness, just the pre-emption for the Big Day, no not Christmas, black Friday. The shoppers holiday.

You are expected to have the best lights on your shrubs and your house. Fake snow in a globe, a dancing Santa. You need a designer Christmas tree that matches the fabric of your furniture. You have to make an appointment for your child to take a photo with Santa at an exclusive shopping mall. Your kid can't take a picture with any old Santa. If your black you better get one with Kente Santa too and tell your kid he's the real one!

It's a race to wait in long lines to get that toy every child wants. If you are a good parent you may have ordered ahead of time or slipped the clerk a $50 dollar bill to make sure he sits one aside just for you.

Nobody says Merry Christmas its not politically correct. There are more SpongeBob, TinkerBell, and Disney/Pixar dolls and paraphernalia on the shelves than nativity figurines. There are even upside down Christmas trees because it looks cool that way. Says who? Bells dangle from womens ears and necks and wrists and dogs are dressed up like reindeer. People get the hook up at the toy store paying cents on the dollar, or slip that clerk at the sneaker store a bigger buck and get your Jordans for free. Womens purses get snatched, cars and homes are burglarized so that some lost soul can give your gifts to their family.

Does anybody even remember this guy named Jesus? Pretty sad.

The Loss of a Love & Loneliness
While all of this is going on there are people whose hearts are broken. People who are dreading the holiday season. People who are reminded of a deceased loved one, people who are alone. Broken marriages, and loveless marriages. Children who have gone astray. Someone just got dumped. Folks without friendships.

Financial Burden & Stress
Feeling obligated to give gifts to your boss, your co-workers, your childs teacher, the babysitter, the post man, your manicurist and hairstylist as well as your immediate and extended family causes many to over extend themselves financially. Instead of starting the new year out with a positive perspective, worry over the incoming credit card bills or depletion of your cash funds can cause major stress. Many people will experience insomnia, extreme irritability, over eating and weight gain. Some will even abuse alcohol and drugs to cope.

So what should we do?
Holiday depression is real. Those people who already suffer from mild to severe depression may become worse. Many who are well throughout most of the year will only experience this overwhelming sadness during the holiday season. If you are suffering, try these tips to turn things around:

Don't get caught up in the hype. Define what the holidays mean to you and plan your activities accordingly. Limit your expectations for those activities and don't over extend yourself.
Don't get lost in re evaluating your life and past mistakes. Do live in the present. Think about all the things that are going right in your life. Make lists of your blessings and tell those who have been a blessing to you over the past year.
Volunteer. Feed the homeless or go sing caroles to seniors in nursing homes or assisted living centers. Help centers decorate. Read a holiday favorite book to your childs class. Sit in for a teacher during lunch and let her/him have some free time.
Start a new family tradition. Create your own tree decorations, or visit a shelter for the homeless or battered. Visit veterans or children in the hospital. Play Secret Santa with simple dollar store gifts to your neighbors or a lower income neighborhood. Leave the gifts on the front step or the porch on Christmas Eve, or better yet knock on the door and introduce yourself.
Take a holiday vacation. Make new memories by getting away to do something different over the holiday season. Go to a beach, ski, rent a cabin. Visit some of the cities recovering from Katrina and spend your money their to help rebuild their communities, or as a family lend a helping hand.
Make a holiday food basket for a needy family or take them grocery shopping.
Look up a long lost friend or relative and reconnect.
Take out old photos of those who have passed away and share your favorite stories with other family members.
Avoid excessive drinking and eating which will only increase your depression and make you feel sluggish.
Participate or attend a spiritual program of your faith.
Make time for yourself.
Look forward to your future. Make an effort to think optimistically about the coming year.

If you don't suffer from the holiday blues and you know someone who is, take the time to reach out to them and be supportive.

That's melavision. What's yours?

2006-11-11T14:00:00.000-05:00

Hip Hop Awards and the Untimely Death of a Beloved Balladeer

The dichotomy of life and death, love and pain, joy and sorrow have been unusually clear this week. With the mid term elections and the resounding cry from Americans against the fiasco in Iraq, the message was certain that we want peace over war. We want resolutions over confrontations. We want a kinder, gentler, embraceable and admirable America.

How ironic is it then, that African Americans celebrating the $4 billion dollar hip hop industry this weekend here in Atlanta, would lose one of our most lovable singers of the past two decades. Gerald Levert. Hip Hop with its glam and bling and celebration of all things material is the truest example of our nation's and indeed the world's obsession with fame and riches. Celebrities have become gods.

No surprise that at the same time we have a presidential administration that disrespects the will of the people; domestic and international, Americans are idolizing the misogynistic exploitation of young females, especially those of color, while also applauding the disrespect that rappers spit at one another. Never before in this writers life has the lack of respect for other human beings been so in vogue.

I guess you could compare the current hip hop phenomenon with Hollywood's ever lasting infatuation with mobsters. From the great western movies as early as 1903, to the Al Capone and gangster movies of the 50's, the 1983 cult favorite(and a favorite to hip hop artists) Scarface, to the recent HBO hit Sopranos, the American entertainment industry craves villains. But never before has our infatuation had such a broad audience.

Eighty percent of hip hop records are purchased by white people, 2 out of every 10 records purchased in America are hip hop. Asian nations, New Zealand, Israel, Europe and Latin America have all been infused with the fashion stylings and rhythmic mastery of America's hip hop artists and urban culture. Nothing has ever melded the races before like this. Rock and roll cannot even compare. But what are we saying to each other and the rest of the world?

Gerald Levert sang about love. Everything love. How much he wanted, needed and adored women and his woman. He sang about his love for his father and family. Gerald was one of the last of the R&B legends who held their black women in high esteem and regarded them as their queens. Honorable and worthy of monogamy. Blessed to have them as the mothers of their children. Happy and yes proud to raise their family and meet and beat the struggles together.

He was scheduled to appear with Wanda Smith of W-VEE radio station V103FM here in Atlanta next week. We women were excited that Gerald was coming to town. He was someone we could look up to as one of our great black men. He reminded us of how special we are, how lovable we are and he kept our hope alive for meaningful, fulfilling relationships. Women who grew up learning about love and family, listening to other legends like Luther and Marvin Gaye , the Commodores and the Whispers and Gerald's daddy Eddie with the Ojays. Holding on to a time when love meant something. God was God, not our celebrities and they balanced their craft with their spirituality.

I hope that as the fans and the stars converge this weekend, this bold and passionate example of a man is remembered and pondered. I hope as the radio stations, even the hip hop ones, play tribute to Gerald, the fans and the stars take time to listen to his lyrics. I hope that Gerald's raw and unforgiving love expressed in that deep baritone voice penetrates the hardness that has settled in too many young hearts.

I like many 40 somethings do listen occasionally to hip hop and enjoy the beats, finding it easy to dance to and swiftly get caught up in the energy of the music. Still, I find most of the lyrics offensive. Much of it lacks originality or critical thinking, repeatedly ranting about cars and money and women and not much more. Hip Hop from its inception talked about style and prestige but it also had a social message. Whether it was about break dancing competitions in the street, to the plight of urban living, it was more about expression than possession.

Now it seems most of what it's about is possession, things and people. Women are regarded as possessions less revered than the diamond jewelry the artists wear. Though we all know the cars, the money and the fame is all to attract the very women they later exploit. As if there isn't enough money to go around, beef between artists often leads to the death of a rival performer or one of his crew. To have legitimacy in the industry you have to have street credibility. If you never sold drugs, or pimped women, or jacked cars or either shot someone or got shot, you aren't the real deal.

I would advise these performers to take a look in the history books and especially view the film Ethnic Notions, http://www.newsreel.org/nav/title.asp?tc=CN0026

This documentary explores the stereotypes that have been propagated through white America for years, even centuries. Whether by purpose or omission these stereotypes are everywhere in the hip hop videos. The savage brutes that were used in newspapers and posters to terrify white women and men alike have the same faces and demeanor of our scowling black men on the tv screen today. Wide eyed pickaninnies, sambos and minstrel men look a lot like what's being produced in the modern day videos. Black women are still portrayed as either mammies with children in tow, or as some kind of exotic sex animal unable to control her own lusts and desires. What is sad that even now with some of our own black men becoming the music moguls and taking over the powerful roles of white men in the industry, these stereotypes keep rolling in, video after video. The psycho and sociological effects of years of being told who you are and starting to believe it.

There are some bright examples of hope though. I see more collaborative efforts than rivalries. I am noticing that some artists are taking the lead of rap legend LL Cool J and adding some rhymes about love and what it is to love their woman. I notice that some women are being portrayed as sexy and beautiful with most of their clothes on! Rappers sagging and ill fitting jeans and t's are slowly being replaced with tailored suits and smart casual clothing. Some of the rap community are developing foundations and programs in their home cities and across the nation to provide opportunities to inner city children and even some of the poorest countries in the world. And still others are finding God the creator and opening their minds to a new and different kind of hip hop. A hip hop that celebrates the best about our culture and our people.

Now hip hop has the power to influence the way the world thinks and behaves. It is already evident. What a mighty work they could do. What a change they could inspire so that a new dichotomy might arise and hip hop would be the better of the two.

God Bless you Gerald Levert and may heaven hold you as dear as all of your fans and loved ones have.

In loving memory.

That's Melavision. What's yours?

2006-11-07T10:42:00.000-05:00

To Vote or Not To Vote....Not Even a Question

Are you indifferent today?

Election day, what an evolution this idea has taken. From the first presidential election in 1789 when George Washington ran for the office basically unchallenged and our first Congress was comprised of the Senate and House of Representatives and the idiotic electoral college was introduced(might of made some sense back then, but certainly does not now), to the 19th Amendment giving Women the Right to Vote, to the Voting Rights act of 1965 which many black and white citizens suffered dearly to push through, up to the current moment, our torrid affair with democracy has left many of us indifferent.

We have however, no right to be indifferent or apathetic to the plight of the survivors of Katrina and indeed not to those lives who were lost. We have no right to be apathetic to the soldiers dying needlessly in Iraq to secure an elite group of mens outrageous fortune. I do not diminish the great humanitarian works our soldiers have done while there, or the individual and collective courage and valor to represent our country and fight even if they do not believe in the cause. Can anyone say Osama? It is this writers opinion that they never should have been sent there in the first place. A cousin of a serviceman who has survived at least two tours of duty, I pray for and hold in high esteem, each and every one of our service members. Indifferent, can't be.

Indifference is not acceptable for the thousands of Americans suffering from dibilitating diseases that want the right to hope for a future with cures for many of our most devestating maladies. I am not a proponent for stem cell research on fetuses, but I am also not a proponent for the hypocrisy of throwing tiny lives in to the garbage to say we are not tampering with unborn children and Gods will. Most of what we do in America today is tampering with fundamental beliefs and we have legislated to do so. Our relationship with the Divine Power, God, Jehova, Jesus, the Creator, is an individual right and responsibility and it is a delicate matter. The proposition of governing morals and upholding our country's religious freedom takes wisdom and compassion that the current administration does not illustrate. Indifferent. Can't be.

As a middle class income American, watching the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, and the middle get screwed, I cannot be indifferent. As a person of color(my heritage is African, Native American, Irish and Dutch) I cannot afford to be indifferent. Too many people who came before me paid for my right to be different, loud, heard, seen and reckoned with. They paid for you too.

I mourned our last two presidential elections. I felt duped, bamboozled, cheated, raped. The last election took me some few weeks to recover. I stood in the lines. I listened to the voters. We chatted among each other and there was a consensus that change was needed. I lived in a primarily Republican district and yet still I heard echos of change. But when the vote was over, the same folks were in office.

There are things about George W. that I admire. He is bold and stubborn, and he loves his family. He is courageous, yes courageous because he goes against the masses even if it costs his popularity. He has used his opportunities to be the best he can be. Something every American aspires to do - use our opportunities(given any) and strive to be the best we personally can be. But do I want this guy for my president? No way. And I want all of his buddies in Congress to go too.

The introduction of the Diebold voting machine leaves many of us to ponder, Is voting trust worthy? Do our votes even matter? With voting machine sales showing only 6% of Diebolds company profits for 2005, you have to wonder why the safe and atm maker is in the business of voting. In the 2004 presidential election CEO Walden O'Dell openly raised money for George W. Bush. Should a financial supporter be able to provide the mechanism for counting the votes? I don't think so. Even though O'Dell is no longer the CEO for Diebold, numerous studies have shown that this electronic method of voting is suspect.

Just this past September, Princeton University provided a paper explaining how the machines could be used to steal vote data or change votes. Resources claim in the last several elections since 2004, that memory cards(computer chip that records the votes) were missing from many ballot boxes and were never accounted for.

Diebold isn't the only maker of electronic voting devices, and certainly there are security concerns with all of them. Poorly trained poll workers and computer technicians easy access to the machines also compromises the vote. A John Hopkins study was sent to the National Institute of Standards and Technology to question whether the current security standards for the voting machines are tough enough.

With all this hoopla surrounding the machines and 37 states utilizing them, should we be indifferent and retreat? Forget about voting because "they" are just going to steal the elections anyway? No!

We MUST exercise our right to vote. Only then can we investigate and fight for truth. Voting gives us a voice. The right to demand and stand up, and organize and revolt. Only when we know that we have done our part and that something truly is awry can we cry out and declare that the United States is not an empire run by a dictator! The next great evolution in our affair with democracy awaits us all.

Go. Do it. Vote!

That's melavision. What's yours?

2006-11-05T20:20:00.000-05:00

Travel Tips for the Ghetto Unfabulous

Sistahs, sistahs, sistahs and brothers you too, now that we make up a new percentage of the travelers across America, 19% domestically and 18% overall, just a few things you might want to think about:

Since I am an avid cruiser, I'll start there. We all know that cruise lines pamper us with personal attention and whet our appetites with a bevy of scrumptious edibles around the clock. What you may not know however, is that the constant availability of food is not so that Pookie and Nay-Nay can double up on pork chops and cheeseburgers, (indeed I have been on one cruise where the kitchen actually ran out of cooked meat due to overzealous eaters) but rather it is to keep your stomach full and settled to lessen your chances of becoming "sea sick".

Hydration and frequent well balanced meals are a key factor in realizing an enjoyable puke - free journey. So my family, even if you can fit 5 chops to a plate DONT! Not only is this unhealthy, it shows your lack of culture, boosts stereotypes, and will undoubtedly add weight to your already fat ass... (from one fat ass to another). Additionally, most of us won't be able to eat it all and just because its there doesn't mean we have the right to waste it. Yeah I'm talking to you.

Many of the cruise lines have dedicated times and table seating for dinner. Dinner dining on a cruise likens to that of a 4 or 5 star restaurant on land. Ladies should wear a flattering dress or slacks and top, like something you would wear to church or a business gathering, not your favorite club out fit, please keep your boobs, your bellies and your buns covered!(true cruise/resort wear is most acceptable - google it if you need help with the look) Gentlemen are encouraged to wear a jacket and slacks, shorts are an absolute no-no and your hip-hop gear is not cruise wear....really its not, unless you are rocking some classic Sean Jean menswear (that's suits Pookie) or if you really want to look like money, may I suggest Ozwald Boateng ready-to-wear collection, no riding your crack please.

You have a permanent dinner reservation for the duration of the cruise. So if you have been assigned early seating say at 6pm, that means 6pm. Keep your watches synchronized with the ships time. If you have reservations for late seating, that usually means about 8pm or so. Late seating does not mean you may arrive to dinner 30 minutes late! Even 15 minutes throws off your professionally trained wait staff. Get the full experience of treating yourself well on your vacation by cooperating with the social expectations of your crew and fellow diners.

Proper etiquette requires that all persons reserved for the table be seated before anyone's order may be taken. Don't yell at your servers or act new on them by snapping your fingers, rolling your eyes and shifting your neck. Don't demand to be served. The only thing you will succeed at is to show that you are new to travel and unrefined. Get your folks at your table to show up on time! If you want to travel like the big dawgs you should behave like one. And no it ain't a black thang its an ignorant thang. If you know someone is running a bit late, kindly notify your servers. We all know the golden rule to treat others as you would like to be treated. Our history did not start with slaver so you don't have to look down on someone else to feel up. Having someone serve you is a privilege not an opportunity to belittle another human being.

Also, if you are with a large group, do not roam the dining room floor and then wonder why you still haven't been served a beverage when you finally sit down at your table. If the staff are obliged to tell you which fork or knife to use, don't get offended! Just so you know, always start with the flatware closest to you and work your way out with each course served.

Table hopping is also in poor taste. Your servers want to get to know your likes and dislikes and be ready for you when you arrive the next evening. The more you keep your ass in your seat, the better dining experience you will have. If you don't like something, quietly let your server know and they will gladly bring you another selection. For the sake of your fellow diners, don't complain loudly and show your ass. We all learned in kindergarten if you ain't got something nice to say than keep your mouth shut!

And ya'll please, your wait staff is eager to serve you and offer you selection suggestions. If you would like to experience more than one entree, it's no big deal, but don't order the whole damn menu! And yet again if I may remind you, if at all possible don't waste the food!

Like my mom used to say " There are starving children in Africa." And probably some in your neighborhood too, so be the queens and kings you are and leave the gluttony behind.

We do what we do until we know better. Now that ya know......

That's melavision, what's yours?